It's all good LAX. I am glad you did not give in, It was inspiring to read. Hemet, you always are so kind and helpful. I hope I can find the strength to get better, it all is so complicated.

Kevin, I know your intentions are to help and I certainly am grateful for all those that want to help. I know you are trying to help the only way you know how just like I am trying to stop the only
way that I know how. I even frustrate myself at times and do not understand how I can keep using and not be able to stop. I constantly obsess about using and do not know how to make it go
away this time but I guess one day at a time. I know I will not use tonight , we will deal with tomorrow when it comes. I have indeed had sponsors and people in recovery give me their number or email before to call or email before I used, I usually call after but will try to email you before, I get email on my phone too. Thanks