Wow Lisa, I appreciate the concern but the frustration I just don't get. I am as many people have called me - " Hard to work with " - Many psych docs won't work with Borderlines because we are hard to deal with and we are hard to help as it is almost like having a multiple personality - I have the part of me that wants to recover and the part of me that still longs for the drug life. I constantly struggle with the two. I thought Lori was a Meth addict, if she is not IMO she should not be part of this community because ONLY a Meth addict can help a fellow meth addict. That is why I have a hard time with AA is because alcoholics don't get us speed freaks...and IMO people that do not have BPD do not get what I go through but they want to tell me what I should do .....

I do not come here to be saved or rescued .... I come here just to have people say - " I know it is hard , keep trying " I just want people to understand ..that is it. I have done lots in recovery
over the years and tried lots of things - including scheduling. I complain because I am stuck and I cannot get out it seems .... I wanna use now - BAD. I hope I can make it, I really do. I was in rehab and I know all about the schedule and when I was told to make my bed or wake up..I always left.

I know my struggle will be great, I was clean for almost two years and had it but lost it and now cannot seem to get it back. I just wish people understood. I do not know what your addiction
was like but seems like you found a way out... how lucky you were.