Kevin - I spent many years in and around the rooms of recovery as I am sure you have..and I saw countless people with a LOT of time clean and sober say that they will never use again and they would relapse. People would have everything going for them and they were too comfortable in recovery and they lost it all. I was one of them, granted I only had about two years but I went to 4-5 meetings a day, had a sponsor and sponsored people, had commitments , a home group, went to AA and CMA conferences and then BAM - I used. Saying that you will never use again is a mistake Kevin, they say not to do that , you can only stay clean TODAY .... just be careful. I don't use my disorder as an excuse, all the qualified doctors say that people who have what
I have use and relapse more than those that do not, not an excuse but a fact. When I use it is because I need something to fill up the emptiness inside. People with BPD do recover but they have
a tougher time than others as addiction and obsession are always there. I am doing my best , I am clean today although the obsession to use is 10 fold.

Lori , Why are you so obsessed with this alarm clock and schedule thing ? I had a sponsor that told me to write a schedule for the whole day and it worked for a few hours but eventually I would still use. I did actually write a schedule the other day and I used , so what is your suggestion then ? I have an obsession to use and be self destructive so writing a schedule may work for awhile
but then when the desire kicks in it won't work. See, suggestions that deal directly with my mental illness and how to not use when I am deep in depression would be more helpful. Your a meth
addict Lori , don't you remember how hard it was to quit , people here are helpful at times but I think they forget what it was like... nobody just stopped .... they struggled or they were not addicts to begin with.