Well I asked this question when I was clean for 17 days because when I am clean I DO miss it. Even a day away from it I miss the feeling, but at this moment I hate it. I relapsed after 19 days clean and am crashing. I used last night for about 12 hours but used less than last time and avoided the ER ( so far ) although the anxiety is creeping in and I have chest pain as a result ... I know I gotta quit and find a different way to live , let me say that again , I KNOW I MUST STOP. I have known this for years though. I know I am insane and you guys are right.
To use this crap after almost dying from it less than three weeks ago is pure insanity , you know what they say ... do the same thing over and over and keeping thinking it is gonna be different. I am not sure I can quit but I will never stop trying. I have three words for myself. I NEED REHAB . The first 9 times did't work, what the hell... 10th time is a charm.