You're anhedonic...e.g. you've cooked your goose....but you'll be OK.... only if you break the cycle.
Do whatever it takes.

Have a look at what you're doing to yourself in neurochemical terms.
http://www.kci.org/meth_info/lori/Dopamine_Methamphetamines_and_You.htm

Meth Dopamine Effects
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy-nNQEQ1io