jg1985 wrote:
BUT the reason I, personally, expected him to act a certain way is because....well.....dammit he said he would. He said 1000 things that he never did. And I expected him to do those things because when I say I am going to do something......well.....dammit I do it.
I know the feeling.... all too well... And I find, that for me, it is situations like this, that make me the most angry. If someone treats me in a way that I'd never treat them, or breaks promises.... That is so difficult for me. It hurts me so deeply, and that creates deeper anger... There are so many things that I could be (and sometimes still am) angry at my husband for.... But lately I just feel like anger is a waste of my energy.

I did this: I asked myself: 

Why am I angry at him? Answer: Because he hurt me. 
What do I want to happen to make the anger go away? Answer: Him to understand that he has hurt me.
Is that enough? Answer: No, I want him to try make amends, to apologise for his actions.

Then I realised that he can't understand right now. Maybe he never will. He says he does, but then his actions and words aren't those of someone who fully understands, who is fully wanting to make amends. I may never get that from him. So I have to remove the anger from my being. Because relying on him to do so will just be a waste of my time and energy.

I feel for you jg, I really do.