by the same token....fake it til you don't make it.
How many years later?
Insanity is?

One dear friend faked it waaay too long.
http://somechicksblog.com/personal-stories/meth-poem-cat-in-the-sack


"ptsd..from what I hear needs intensive treatment...lol"

lol?? Considering where you're at again and how well anonymous groups and their "little blue book" have worked for you, intensive treatment/therapy may be your last chance Deb.