...love is never "safe".

it's about trust and bonding, intimacy, communication...
....common beliefs, and like behaiviors.

you are exposing your soft under belly, and giving your heart to someone and under the best of circumstances....

....it's very frightening!

look at it this way...
....you BF has a mutant head that you don't know about..
it whispers other ideas in his head, unlike ideas the "real" he would have....

..the more he does meth the more his "true" head will shrink and the NEW demon head will grow...

the bad thing is.

you are'nt in love with him..
...you love the addicted him.

so if/when he straitens out...
....he won't be this guy.

if he continues to use...
...he will not be the same.

it's very progressive.
...the more he is the other, the less he is himself
when he comes down.

My advice will be painful to your eyes...
...you'll think..."she does'nt know about us" ..well.

I do.

I have watched relationships disolve in my hands...
....I watched years of me proving my loyalty, honesty, and
manogomy shatter in an instant...
...as men I had known...decades ofmy life..that knew me as
a kid...begin to really belive I was trying to hurt, humiliate, or deceive them.

when you have been a good woman to a man and he tells you
he knows you don't love him, and you are betraying him.

it's a very painful betrayal.

I doubt my words can stop you from any thing.

...........no one ever changed another by will...
it only builds resentment.

but...I HOPE I can persuade you not to go that way.
or at least REALLY think long and hard about it.

life is Loooooooong when you make the wrong decision..


I wasted my WHOLE LIFE on DRUGS.
.....drugs are all I had...and all I wanted.
I'm qualified to give you the addict's side.....

I would have no painful regret, and
feelings of unaccomplishment and broken dreams, dark, depairing, emptyness, howling, perverted in ways that make you feel...deeply ill...things at your CORE that is YOU is betrayed...your soul hurts when it's worn thin.

you feel ...OWNED.

and whoever loves the addict is also haunted by DARK memories...that you can't get rid of that hurt deeply.






I feel like maybe I died using meth sometimes,
.... because no one ever hears me warning them!