once apon a time,

I've thought a lot about your post last night. I'm bothered by the situation too. I'm confused as to if I took the appropriate action, but there's no use 2nd guessing myself now that the cat is out of the bag or whatever has been set in motion has to run its course.

What if there is a true newcommer lurking and sees what may or may not look like an attack on a fellow newbie? That's not going to inspire him or her to stick around and get help and/or help one of us in return.

I don't take any pleasure in this. I did what I did because I know when I do things like that and don't get called on my b.s. it snowballs and develops a life of its own. Then, after the chaos clears, I try it again in a similiar form. Misguided or not, I really was trying to help Robby and KCI as a whole. It really hurts to be manipulated or have someone play mind games with you, especially on a board that's supposed to be a safe haven. I know I've been told that if I'm trying to manipulate people who are trying to help me, how serious am I about recovery? If this situation is what it seems like it is to me, then I think it's a behind the scenes string pulling attempt. We can't help people who aren't honest, so it'd be nice if people understood themselves and were honest. (Tall order, I know, from personal experience.)

Maybe I was acting out on a common defect of mine~~thinking that I can change people, places or things into what I think would be in everybody's best interests. Like I'm all-knowing or something.

I truly don't mean to hurt anybody. I guess it's true what they say: "Hurting people hurt people."