again...."Relapse is not a part of recovery!!!!! That is an excuse to use again." ( a lame excuse)

Robby...it is ESSENTIAL that you find *and pursue* something that you love and enjoy more than meth and PNP.
Until then you're going to find yourself back on the bathouse treadmill ad nauseum.

You're looking at life thru a keyhole we call euphoric recall when there's is an infinite plethora of healthy-meaningful options (aka choices) all around you.

FWIW...meth ia an inert pile of toxic shyt...it has no consciousness of decision making abilities....YOU DO.

If you're this close to using again...yet don't want to...why aren't you seeking pro help and treatment instead of spinning your wheels here everyday?

In light of your psychiatric disorders, an online recovery board is no substitute for the unique help you need.
From all indications this is the extent of your recovery efforts.

~Let your efforts outshine yor excuses...get some phuking help...k?