Rob, ya have two choices...use or don't use.

It will affect only one person.

It hurts me to think what you're going through, having gone through some pretty horrendous times myself.  But in the end, nobody else could do for me what I could do for myself...and that's make the daily choice to STAY CLEAN. 

You can give yourself some credit for choosing to do whatever it takes to stay clean, day by day, or you can succumb to the "it's no use" theory and start the drain circling again.

Whatever you do, good luck to you!