forget suzette wrote:
I wish I was'nt so special, I stick out in this stupid town..


Amen to that!

Most of the people around here think my parents only have one daughter. The partiers think it's me, and the mainstream think it's my sister. Either way, I feel like I'm a dirty little secret that nobody wants to really ask my family about out of political correctness.

Half the people think that I'm "mildly retarded" because I "can't do anything." I don't work or drive or clean house. The other half of the people think that I'm so intelligent that it works against my recovery. That I'm so darn "clever" and manipulative that I have myself fooled into thinking that I have to act like a dependent child/ feather at the mercy of whichever way the wind blows.

It's said that a lot of addicts are actually very intelligent people. That's not to say that common sense is a strong suit for many, or that (generally speaking) we are masters of our emotions.

I think we're all in this situation together, some are farther along in recovery than others. Some have been able to grab the ball of recovery and run with it and only pick up one white key chain. Others are like me and have relapsed chronically and people want to shake and say, "Just get it! Just do it!"

I better not say any more about that, as I don't want to get into an arguement or look like I'm picking sides. With such little clean time, I'm not up for that. Wants this to be a safe haven for me.

Suze, you have a natural knack for being a mediator and finding common ground. Luvs that about you, and wants to develop it further in me.