This is an exact replica of what happened here before. You saying th exact same things ,people offering the exact same advice. I mean its identical. If i singled myself out as someone who has the urge to use -you`d pick me as the only one who "understands". Your completely ignoring the advice of poeple who "used" to have the urge - as if that somehow makes them not understand . They`ve been there - listen to them.  
    
   Who would you listen to for advice on how to successfully climb the mountain - the guy standing on the top or the guy lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom?