Well you were saying the same things back before and you did it so maybe you have some tools in your own archive that your forgetting about ? Think about how you did it before  -and then you were right in the middle of it. It sure sounded like a nightmare world you were in - maybe try to focus abit more on the nightmare that it was and where you`ll end up rather then allowing yourself to fantisize about the sex etc. which is just fueling the fire.