Going back is never going to be the same meaning to me anymore .    I guess the insanity of it all  is how real our brains lead us to believe that there ever really was a good time .

  I feel ya . and will be here to help you push that cloud away , in anyway.


   With all  credit to knownfear1 for saying it like it is .  

         I'm terrible at quotes right now , but the idea ..................    Nasty drug;   we seem deluded  to feel  alive and without care even though the world is falling down around us , but when we're not using and things are going as life really is ; good ,   we're unable to feel good about it or even find a reason for it .


     Or maybe the lack of chaos in our lives is what makes us feel anxious about the reality of living and being confronted with the realization of what living really is  .  I call it my own personal reaction to being surprised  the first time I really realized that I actually didn't have anything to really worry about.  

      So why waste my time  trying to analyze it and just  take control or authorship of my life from here on.

       I am not the sum of my scars .