It seems like he's feeling you out beforehand--if he hasn't already used behind your back--to see how much you'd take from him. In other words, he's plotting his story lines now. He'll do what he darn well pleases and lie to you or hide things from you if needed. It doesn't sound like he values you or your relationship with him very much.

You deserve better from a partner.

I suspect that the porn part is just the tip of the iceburg. If that makes you uncomfortable, you should probably find someone who has the same freak as you do... or at least one that doesn't make you cringe.

Almost all my relapses have involved getting around a man who some people claim is my drug of choice. Well, it was a package deal: the drugs supplied and the destraction from looking at myself + sex with him. My ex isn't even consistant as to if he's ever used a needle more than once because he knows that it would freak out the person I used to be. The person I am now? I'm not even 100% sure I haven't been injected with a needle. Regardless, I'm done with drugs and active drug users.

I really think that the method of ingestion doesn't matter in the big picture. Of course there's an increased risk of catching something if he shares needles... or straws or what have you. If he does catch something he'll bring it home to you. The way I looked at it is that I might as well be doing it my f'ing self and get some enjoyment out of it if I'm gonna die from it anyway. (Very sick logic, I know.)

If you stay with this dude you'll start using again. You'll be psychotic and spiritually bankrupt. The people who know me on this forum might back me up as living proof of this considering how many times I've relapsed on one thing or another in connection with that darn man... who does indeed have a twin bro that I copped the dx of Borderline P.D. over... or at least "traits of".

I sincerely hope that you tell him "Yes" in answer to the question posed in the thread's title.

And regarding the porn... it's okay to tell him that just isn't you. If he pressures you beyond that he's not a very compassionate lover, and that borders on abuse.

Your posts in this thread make me wonder if this man is a con or is in other ways abusive to you. I sure hope not! He sounds tricky and highly manipulative to me.

Best wishes,
Eve'n