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Posts: 118
Dec 11 09 11:20 AM
1) Co-dependents put all their efforts into those around them, neglecting to fully take care of themselves, especially emotionally.
Emotionally I am fine, not perfect but who is? And, much better since looking to Christ to change her instead of her; 2) Mental attention is focused on solving the problems of others or relieving their pain, and when these goals are accomplished, their self-esteem rises.
If I can help her I will thank God that He has chosen to be merciful to her. I will have nothing to esteem myself over, and alot to thank Him and esteem Him for; 3) Co-dependents have unrealistic expectations of themselves, are unable to accept their own limitations, and use control and manipulation to avoid facing reality.
I realize my limits so I will look to Christ; 4) Continued investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others in the face of serious adverse consequences.
Know I am not in control and Christ is so I will look to Him; 5) Assumption of responsibility for meeting others' needs to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own.
I have alot of needs so I am looking to Christ for my needs and the needs of those I love; 6) Anxiety and boundary distortions around intimacy and separation.
Talk about vague psychobable...you can twist this to mean almost anything, clearer please...and, I am content if she is with me or apart, and though I do desire her to be well and present, my contentment is in Him; 7) Enmeshment in relationships with personality disordered, chemically dependent, other co-dependent, and/or impulse-disordered individuals. I am a sinner like anyone else. Christ did not shun anyone other than the self-righteous Pharisees. i.e., those who were good enough or could help themselves. I will try to do the same. And why I would want to be with her, she is special and beautiful but damaged and sinful, as we all are. Christ can mend that, if He chooses, and if He does she could make a wonderful wife...and...if God brings someone else and I together then so be it, I will be happy with that and thankful too.
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