Agreeing to take someone to church is not manipulating them. I can no more make her go than I can make her stop seeing other guys or using meth, she knows that and I know that.

Agreeing to talk to someone on the phone is not manipulative either. She can either agree, disagree or do a little of both if she choosing to call me.

And...I will not use meth or have sex with this girl unless she winds up as my wife after becoming a Christian and becoming healthy and I thank you for your concern. Nor will I even kiss her until both of the above occur. As for my motives, yes, I would love to see her, but not under any circumstances. Its not codependent, its not unhealthy its simply love.

I want to love her like this:

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, Mt. 17.20 ; 21.21 · Mk. 11.23 and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 ¶ Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

I am not a masochist, I do not want to be long suffering unless it comports with love and patience, and I want to see the fruit thereof. I will seek the Lord's wisdom and the mind of Christ on that, as well as my interaction with her in general. And as for co-dependency, I dare say some here would call Christ codependent or unhealthy if they were walked the earth when He did and the phrase was in use. He loved those who were not loving Him, He loved His enemies, He interacted with them, did not shun them and I believe He commands me to do the same, in reliance on Him for the strength and wisdom to do so. By His grace I will seek to obey His commands.

PS

I will be off the site for awhile. I will come back after the 1st of the new year. I wish all here well.