Detective....many people have given you some great insight....I hope you think on these things....

I would also like to share that....my HP is big enough that he does not need just the walls of a "holy" place to reach people....If I truly trust and have faith that my HP is going to deliver, protect, save etc my loved ones, then I can peacefully let go of them....and get out of the way!!! It's a process tho...one which we learn and relearn many times over!

There was a time period (with my x) where I thought I had enough...it was the longest me and my x ever went without seeing or talking eachother (before I started recovering)...I was doing "good"...I was not obsessing or allowing him to call or come over....HOWEVER, I speant EVERY waking hour meditating and praying that my HP would save my x, give him strength, help him to find forgiviness and recovery, to put people in his path that would be good influences, etc....

You name it and I put out positive thoughts for my x......I prayed and even bargained w/ my HP....I said, I promise to quit controlling him, to stay out of the way, until You bring him back to me sober....

Hahahahahaha......how vain and blind was I? .....But my beliefs and intent caused the Universe to do exactly that....

Let me say....BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT U PRAY FOR.....he came back "sober" alright....he was clean for maybe 2 weeks, and then it was no time at all that he was using, and I was being held down by my neck on my living room floor.....having his fist rared back and my life threatned.....the drug use and the abuse was 10 times worse than it was before...my life drastically got worse, and I never could have imagined it being any worse before hand....but it can get worse....WAY worse....

My HP was still trying to get my attention....I had NOT learned my lesson....thank God that my life has been spared, and that I have learned that lesson....now, I can progress into deeper things.....so that my life is fuller...

But I had to get honest with myself and truly put my actions where my mouth was....then I could have miracles hapen in MY life....and, oddly enough, those miracles are far beyond what I thought I needed when I was lost in my sickness....thank God, that I didn't settle for what I thought I needed at that time in my life!!!!!!

Have you checked out CoDA or Al-anon yet?