Detective, I am concerned for you!! God gives you enough common sense to know when things aren't right! That little flutter or the quickening in your body is His Holy Spirit trying to warn you!! And in your case, things aren't right!

Please do not subject yourself to this abuse anymore. It will continue to rip your heart out, over and over and over! Since you are a believer, I know that you believe in the Holy Spirit! God does not want you to subject yourself to abuse. He loves your ex, but does not hold you responsible for her actions or salvation! Don't use your christianity as a crutch to be involved with her in some way!

Your ex will claim to understand your beliefs, she will say that she has "seen the light"! Until she has completely seperated herself from the drug and the individuals she is involved with, she can't see anything clearly. I have never seen Christ work in the "epiphany" mode. His processes are usually gradual, and are used to teach us something about ourselves and the choices we make. What type of choices are you making for yourself and your life?