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Posts: 118
Dec 4 09 11:45 AM
Release, I would respectfully disagree. She cannot walk all over me, I will not give her money, I will not change plans for her absent a real emergency either. I would like to be consistent with her, but I also want to make sure that I am not needlessly dogmatic in my statements to her or with the conditions I set. And, its emotional for me, the conditions I set in an emotionally charged moment may not be the best ones to set, and may need review and revision.
As for my actions, they are not the opposite of my conditions. I do not want to be with her in her present state and would not be until and unless she is healthy. If (which will not occur, even if she wants it too), I not get back together with her or agree to when she is still using or hanging out with users, then your analysis is correct. Until then it is not. As for her finding God on her own, everyone I know has recieved help from others in this, with someone who has found Him (or more appropriately that He has found and revealed Himself to) pointing others to the Him in the hope that they will be helped too. I know that God can find her and bring her home without me, but He also may use me and that would be a blessing to her and I both. As for Church, if its where the gospel is preached then that is God's power unto salvation. I want her to go there for the same reasons I want to be there myself, for salvation (not through the chruch, but through the Christ preached there) and for help in this very hard life which is often a veil of tears. All efforts to help someone you care about who is not well are not sick by-products of co-dependency. Some are actually generated by love. To see everything otherwise indicates an unhealthy cynicism may be at work to me.
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