ForgotPassword?
Sign Up
KCI The Anti-Meth Site
Live Chat
Meth Letters & Stories
Tweekerland Meth Speed Bumps
Search this Topic:
Forum Jump
Posts: 2261
Jul 26 09 3:18 PM
From my perspective, I was as torn as any loved one, knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt that my hubby, (and partner of 9 years,) was using. I thought, hoped and prayed our love was enough to overcome ANYTHING. I was quite wrong. I more or less waited for three years for him to confide in me while I watched him get meaner, more hateful and crazier by the month, then week, then day. Just as Tamtom stated, when I had had enough and basically gave the ultimatum, (though I NEVER mentioned the drugs,) he showed me the door, (and the ambulance, hospital, and nearly the grave,) then promptly replaced me before my sheets grew cold. Every story is different, but I must say that I can totally see the blessing it all NOW, after crying buckets, then rivers, then a small ocean. I was in deep mourning, as if someone had died, for over a year. No longer do I mourn for what was, but appreciate what is. I don't expect I will ever hear, "I'm sorry." But there are so many recovering addicts here who have said how sorry they are for the pain this addiction causes. That's been incredibly healing for me - thanks guys. Lily, please don't waste your precious life waiting for someone to get clean, because even that fantasy, (the one in which he falls into your loving arms and realizes he's an idiot for choosing drugs over you,) is frought with anguish and a really tough road to tow. You must ask yourself how much of your life you really wish to give for this person. Keep in mind that if he is using meth, he has already split - left the relationship - his true love is now the drug and sadly, not you. I still have a daughter caught in the throes of this horrible addiction, (probably why I still come here so often,) and with the ex, I could divorce him, but I cannot divorce my child. My parents could probably purchase a small country with the money they have sunk into getting my daughter to "clean up" and get her nursing degree, all eventually for naught. She's losing or has already lost her car, apt, phone, internet, job, and is having Domestic Violence issues with the fellow she chose to get involved with, (another user.) She might be charged with DV or harrassment, and all this is "killing" my mother. My dad is dying, and so they are looking to me NOW, wanting me to send for her, and I cannot, just as I warned them five years ago when they came and got her. They are worried she is going to go homeless, and I have a sense she will attempt suicide soon. It is a struggle for me to stay focused on my own serenity, no matter what. That mother/daughter bond doesn't end with addiction, so I get to feel it/sense it when she's hurting or in trouble. Still, my daughter is totally unwilling to discuss recovery of any kind except to go to the doc for an anti-d. She can't get back and forth to school, and isn't sure where she will be staying beyond August, but she can sure make it to the local bar, . She won't attend an NA meeting, (her excuse is that she may be offered a line,) yet I guess the bar is safe??? Anyway, didn't want to hyjack your post. It is a long, long, long haul any way you go. Knownfear is an EXCEPTION. He didn't get violent, and he chose the love of himself and his family over the drug, but he states that he was ready to quit, but just wasn't sure how. Travis is indeed a RARE JEM, and he had a lot of family surrounding him for whom he had great respect. That scenario is not as common as we would like it to be. Lily, just get safe, and we will be here for you, I promise. Keep asking questions, because I don't know where you will get more knowledgeable and candid answers. Prayers, Starfishy <><
Share This