Tenderhearts, Knownfear, and nineyearsclean, thanks for your insight and you should be proud of yourselves for choosing life!
Hope4all, thank you as well for your perspective. You are a strong person for hanging in there as long as you have, your husband is a lucky person to have you.

I have thought about attending an al anon/nar anon meeting...maybe in the next few days ahead. There are just so many decisions to make and I am asking God to guide me and help me make the best decisions.