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Racebannon,

Hope you don't think I was making fun of you, as that was not my intention at all. Honey, it has taken me a year-and-a-half to fall "out of love" with my ex, and he did unspeakably horrible things to me. Some days I would wake up and think, "I'm not in love with that anymore!" The next day I would be in tears all day long. I cried a river of tears over it There are stages to mourning, and you are in mourning. Those stages don't all come at once, and we can go back through those stages over and over again. You are obviously a great guy - like Esteban and others, and it takes guts to pour out your feelings like you have.

Congratulations on seeing that she is bringing nothing to the table, (unless of course you are not protecting yourself, and God I hope you are!) In fact, do you realize that she has little or no consideration for you whatsoever, waking you at that hour when you have to get up and work a real job for a living? That's really just rude. And smoking dope in your house? WTF??? She tells you all about her "hook-ups" and wants you to look at pics of her on an internet escort site. She is pouring salt on your wounds. No offense to anyone on this board, but active addicts generally just have no sense of how much pain they cause by their selfish actions.

Let me ask you a rhetorical question: After this girl is out of your life, (and eventually she WILL BE once you either stop the contact, she puts you through so much hell and sucks you dry that you will have had enough, you contract a disease from her, she goes to jail, or just disappears,) and go to move on with your life, what "nice" girl will want to be with a man - no matter how great he is - if she knows he has knowingly slept with someone who was prostituting her body?

Sfj is dead-on with his list of what attracts us "normies" to meth users. My ex never ceased to amaze me at all the boundless amounts of energy he had. I had never in my life seen someone who worked as physically hard as he did or had such physcial strength and stamina. He ran circles around me, and I found that fascinating. And the sex was always good, but there came a day when he couldn't get it or keep it going, and some other wierd stuff that made me not so inclined to wanna anymore - bummer! I did not, however, know it was all due to chemical enhancement until it ate his brain and he became a completely different person. No amount of charm can keep the brain damage from happening from long-term use. Of course addicts recover, and there are many here who are testiment to that, but I have yet to read anyone say that they returned to being the same person as they were before they started using, and most have at least some serious and lasting physical ailments to endure.

Make yourself a long list of all the things you "love" about this girl, then make another list - all the things she is doing that hurt you and what you can expect in the future if you continue to allow her to simply use your pad to smoke her dope and use your body to get her sexual gratification. And God forbid, she get pregnant right now. (No condoms are made out of stainless steel,) and that just might well be in her plans. I have known many a meth addict to "hook" a guy with child to just to get state benefits and child support or use the guy to get vehicles when she needs to make a meth trip. It happens all the time.

Prayers for You,
Starfishy <><

(((Guys)))

How well I know that pain, as many of us do, and I am so sorry for it. You, Racebannan and Esteban, are both VERY RARE men, in that you feel so deeply and are able to express it. That time you spent loving your addicts, my friends, was NOT wasted, and don't think that for a minute! These experiences will guide you in the future to know better than to make the same mistakes again. For you two, you have so very much to offer a nice lady who will appreciate all that love and caring you have in your hearts. (So where do you guys live? Okay, just joking, .)

While you are praying, (and you got my prayers too,) thank God that you didn't have two or three children with these women or that you lost more than what you did. Since you are "praying men," it is written that God never puts more on us than what we can handle. Think of your walk with Him and how He uses these times in our lives to bring us closer to Him. I too thought I would die of a broken heart, but He is close to the brokenhearted, and He WILL bind them - He did mine. It just takes time.

Unfortunately, that toxic waste, (meth and other drugs,) is part of our society, so better get real savvy to it, because it is sadly around every corner and in every nook and cranny of this fallen world. The more you know, the more you can protect yourselves.

May God Comfort and Richly Bless You,
Starfishy <><