*Sponsored
Link
Yes, she will.
|
|
||
|
| ||
Hi - new here - HELP
| Author | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 nineyearsclean |
she would not steal from me | ||
|
Posts: 7927 (07/23/08 15:38:21) Best Friend to KCI |
|
||
|
racebannon |
Steal | ||
|
Posts: 14 (07/23/08 15:47:10) |
She has not stolen anything up to now. I do know that with her looks and current attitude, getting money will not be a problem. Plenty of horny men out there.
Ouch, that hurts.
|
||
|
MkUsmile |
|||
|
Posts: 265 (07/23/08 15:50:49) |
Not really the girl you'd like to take home to meet Mom huh?
|
||
|
nineyearsclean |
|||
|
Posts: 7928 (07/23/08 15:51:39) Best Friend to KCI |
Here's the deal: you cannot trust a meth addict. If she got desperate enough, she would do anything. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is.
|
||
|
racebannon |
|||
|
Posts: 15 (07/23/08 16:27:38) |
No need to apologize. I appreciate the input I have received here. It has opened my eyes greatly. True, no way could I take to her to meet mom and dad. They
would likely commit me to the insane asylum. I guess she goes on the corner when she is desperate. At least she knows she can't get money out of me, she
doesn't ask anymore.
|
||
|
starfishlover123 |
|||
|
Posts: 1339 (07/23/08 18:20:01) |
Racebannon,
Believe me, if she continues to use, the looks will fade fast and the day will come that they net her nothing much. My ex-sis-in-law was drop-dead beautiful at one time. She has used every kind of drug out there, but her drug of choice was crack cocaine She prostituted in Vegas and other cities, even called me once to see what I thought about her joining a legalized prostitution ranch, (I think in Nevada,) and making it a legitimate career  . I couldn't recommend it, but did actually comment that it might be safer
than the streets? At any rate, she still exists somewhere far, far
away, and word has it that she looks like chewed raw hyde now and is perpetually on either probation or parole. I know I wrote to her for 6 months after she
finally went to prison for a long list of drug-related crimes. Now she is M-fing me because I divorced her meth addicted/slinging/manufacturing brother - what
a bytch I am, huh?
"Love from afar - not sure how that will go..not sure I know how to. I do know that seeing her once in a while now is stressful enough already. I don't need it. I do now that I am addicted to her." Loving from afar mean distance both physically and emotionally. You can love your addict, (and even pray for her, if you subscribe,) and not allow her into your house or car, meet with her, or speak with or text her on your phone. If you realize you are addicted to her, (good step and hard to admit, but proud of you for it!) then just like addicts must replace drugs with healthy activities, you must replace her with activities that are healthy for you. We can all give you tips on that, but you have to know what works for you - CODA meetings, church, gym, walking, running, bicycling, taking classes, spending extra time at the grocery choosing healthy foods for yourself. . .and the list goes on. If you find it just too hard to move on, then I would recommend you find a good professional counselor with whom to hash things over. Maybe there are things you need to work through yourself that you never realized that cause you to make unhealthy choices for yourself, (like your lady-picker is broken,  .)
Chances are, you may meet someone during your activities who won't cause you all this heartache and stress. Life is stressful enough without inviting it in for dinner! That's not how love is supposed to be - it's supposed to make you HAPPY  . When you love someone and they love you, (and not a drug,) you can't stay
away from each other, love each other's company, give and share equally, have stars in your eyes, (not bags under them from worry.) And a healthy,
well-adjusted woman will simply glow when truly loved by a good man such as yourself.
All My Best, Starfish
Last Edited By: starfishlover123
07/23/08 18:22:10.
Edited 1 times.
|
||
|
racebannon |
Starfish | ||
|
Posts: 17 (07/23/08 20:12:57) |
Starfish...I don't know who you are of course but I am forever in your debt for your wonderful words of wisdom.
|
||
|
loveanaddict |
|||
|
Posts: 13 (07/24/08 07:23:31) |
STARFISH ROCKS!!
I have to agree; whoever you are Starfish, your wisdom has made a difference for both me and racebannon, so there have to be many more that you have helped. I don't know what you do for a living, but if you are not a counselor, you missed your calling!! Racebannon, I have found what Starfish says to be very true. Try to keep yourself busy. I hadn't worked out for three months due to so much of my time being taken up worrying about and helping my ex, but I started that again (and yes, I'm sore!!) Another thing, and I don't know if you have the time or live in an area where it is feasible, but having a pet is great. I have a dog, and she loves me unconditionally. Plus, they are so much fun and so happy all the time. Also, being summer, try to just get outside. . .the sun and fresh air does wonders for the attitude!! Also, to love her from afar, Starfish said it perfectly. You can love her. But you have to try to cut the ties with her for now. Like starfish said, you can even pray for her, if you are so inclined. I love my ex. Even through all the *%@@ I've been put through, I love him. When I heard he got arrested and the police had to taser him, I should have laughed and said "serves him right". But because I love him, picturing him getting tased makes me feel awful. However, I now haven't spoken to him in a week, and every day gets a little easier. Again, just try to keep busy. Also, a few posts back, you mentioned drinking more. I too, have been self medicating with alcohol from time to time, and I know numbing my feelings with booze won't help anything. Just be careful. The last thing we want is to become alcoholics!! 
I say this every day, but hang in there. You sound like a great guy. Keep your head up. We are addicted to addicts and I am starting to come to the realization that we can't save them from themselves. Don't let her keep breaking your heart. Funny how its so easy to say that to you, but I have such a hard time following my own advice; SIGH. |
||
|
starfishlover123 |
|||
|
Posts: 1351 (07/24/08 14:44:18) |
Racebannon, loveanaddict,
Alas, you have "outted" me - indeed I am a social worker/counselor and have been for many years. Back in the day when I first started, I "just" wanted to work with the mentally ill. LOL, it was like dreaming of being in Home Ec, but when enrollment day came, I was thrown into Shop class instead, and I had no choice but to learn what I was doing or I would get my hand cut off!  Naive as I was, I had no idea that drug addiction and mental illness go
hand-in-hand. Then the drug world exploded before my eyes, and I found myself surrounded by addicts - in my work, my family, and "friends." I just
didn't see that coming. Now I am working in the direction of getting a CSAC, (Certified Substance Abuse Counseling.) Out of work right now, but it's
coming. It takes time where I am living - had to move 3,000 miles and an ocean away to remove myself from those addicts that I love, but are deadly dangerous
to me.
Thanks for the kuddos, but the very best reward I can receive is for you wonderful folks to live healthy and happy lives. (It is funny how we can advise one another so well, but have difficulty taking our own advice!) The most kind and loving thing we can do for the addicts we love and ourselves is to BE WELL. LOL, my mother recently told me, (after divorce #2,) if you want unconditional love honey, get a dog. 
Best Wishes, Starfishy <>< |
||
|
racebannon |
Love from afar.. | ||
|
Posts: 18 (07/24/08 16:29:39) |
Well she sent me a text at 4:30 a.m. this morning that said " I love you dearly honeybun". She was probably high because she always texts me in the
middle of the night (who needs to sleep anyways right). Poor girl, I love her but I am proud of myself, I have not responded to her. That is progress for me.
Her patterns are so predictable. |
||
|
loveanaddict |
CONGRATULATIONS!! | ||
|
Posts: 14 (07/25/08 06:28:51) |
Racebannon,
I am so proud of you. (Funny how this site makes me proud of someone I have never met and have no idea about. . .you could be a serial killer for all I know!! LOL; just kidding!!) Seriously though, you have taken that first difficult step by not responding to her text. She will probably be confused and she will try again. Just don't respond. You can do it!! This girl needs to know that you won't always be there if she continues to live life this way. They say that sometimes you don't know what you had til you lose it. Maybe she needs to lose you. You are a security net to her. . .she knows if she gets into some deep !+*+, you are the responsible, good person that will bail her out. Plus for you, cutting contact with her will help you move past her with your own life. Keep your head up. I like quotes, so I am going to leave you with this one from Alexander Graham Bell:
"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones
which open for us."
Don't neglect to look for the open doors. . . |
||
|
esteban91075 |
I would never have guessed it either. | ||
|
Posts: 56 (07/25/08 09:58:55) |
Racebannon,
Don't beat yourself up over missing the "red flags". I look back now and I know that she alluded to her spotty past but I thougth that those were just things from her past. She mentioned her drug using past, a moment of time working as a bachelor party stripper (code word for escort), and her many disfunctional relationships. This was my second serious relationship in my life. I was 28 and I had one other serious relationship that lasted 6 yrs (19-25). That was a stable relationship with an emotionally healthy young women. I guess I was naive. When my now ex-wife alluded to her past, I thought well you had your fun and now its over with. She had a little 3yr old girl and I thought she had changed. I chalked that part of her life up to being young and out of control. In addition, she seemed like a career oriented woman that had everything under control. Was I wrong and I learned a big lesson from all this. Those "red flags" and intuition that something is wrong with this person are there for a reason. After she left me she moved to Reno, Nevada to live with her parents and grandparents. I was devastated when I discovered that she was prostituting herself. I would never have imagined that she would do that to herself. I'm still trying to figure out if I really ever knew this woman who I married and spent 4 years of my life with. One time before I knew what was going on she even told me how could you love me "You don't even know me". Those types of messages come back to haunt you when you finally realize the truth. I still miss and love my ex wife and stepdaughter but I love myself even more. For over a year she hid her addiction. During that time she attempted to destroy my self esteem and my sanity. Once I found out the truth, she ran away blaming the entire mess on me. To this day she takes no responsibility for her part in creating this mess. I haven't heard from her in a while. I usually only get anger, rage and hate when I do communicate with her. I'm still a little angry and disappointed but this is slowly being replaced with mercy, compassion, kindness, and love. I can't imagine that she would choose to be a meth addict and prostitute if it were not for the drugs. I guarantee things will get easier for you as you continue to work on yourself and as you release your addict. Steven |
||
|
esteban91075 |
|||
|
Posts: 57 (07/25/08 10:14:59) |
loveanaddict wrote: When I first found out about my ex wifes drug addiction this is exactly how i felt. I was upset about what was she was doing to me but I was more upset about what she was doing to herself. How she was hurting herself. I never understood the "one flesh" concept of marriage until now. I felt pain for her every time I realized a new truth. She started prostituting after she left me but I still felt pain from it even though she was technically not my responsibility or connected to me anymore. This is really why its better for me not to have contact with her. I still want to help her but I know I can't handle the things that I will learn about her. I guess in some ways we love more than they love themselves. |
||
|
racebannon |
staying connected | ||
|
Posts: 19 (07/26/08 08:51:19) |
Agree 100% - I cannot be connected to her. I am the jealous type already, and the knowledge that she is prostituting herself is another killer for me, on top
of her addiction. When I first found out, I wanted to die - seriously. At first I saw it as a violation of our love.It took me some time to realize that it is
the addiction controlling her, and she is doing what she has to to get her fix. It still hurts like hell but its getting better all the time.
|
||
Quick Reply
THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE.
The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of
a health care professional if you have a specific health concern. Information
posted or provided by KCI.org may be reproduced and used on KCI.org or other
publications. However, we acknowledge the author retains original copyright.
Copyright © 1999-2008 by KCI The Anti-Meth Site - All Rights Reserved
Legal Disclaimers and Copyright Notices
