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recovery and lifestyle questions

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SOS1988	recovery and lifestyle questions	Lead	[-]
Posts: 443 (07/18/08 21:28:31) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Do you think that some previous experiences in life had an impact in your decision to maintain your addiction, or were you just "#%*$$% up." After it all was said and done did you find that the addiction was more of a bad situation rather than a "disease" or inherent mental disorder (non drug induced). For instance, the reason why you always thought about drugs was because really, that's all you did and tried to do....just shietty lifestyle choices. Do you believe the only way to recover is to remove yourself from the situation, for months or years until you could reboot your soul? Do you think you were powerless over drugs because of your inability to handle feelings that werent related to your addictive lifestyle? Were relapses after recovery (after paws and all that crap) based on stupidity (i controly my drug use, or i can say no, hanging out in the barber shop) just a constant, inherent pain?. In retrospect was addiction a of form of self medication to you or was your pain the result of a tortured brain. Last Edited By: SOS1988 07/18/08 21:34:20. Edited 1 time.
mlg		#1	[-]
Posts: 604 (07/18/08 23:01:40) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I can only answer for what our daughter has shared...She still maintains she had a very happy childhood. (We felt she did, there were no "Red Flags" in her development that we were aware of). She turned 13, drank her first beer, and from then on, chemicals became her new religion. Fifteen years of trying everything out there. If it was on the table, she'd try it. Meth did her in...The final drug from H---. We all maintain that her brain was predisposed for compulsive use of any mood altering chemical. Her grandmother was a pill popper, and her great grandfather was an alcoholic. Maybe in the genes? Looking back as her mom, from day 1, she needed SOMEthing...Pacifiers, thumb sucking, blanket, stuffed animals... To this day, she fiddles with a sheet piece, she calls her "comfort" object. Maybe she was lacking seratonin in the brain at birth? Who really knows... mlg
forget suzette		#2	[-]
Posts: 14868 (07/19/08 03:32:08) Retro Space Cadet Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Do you think that some previous experiences in life had an impact in your decision to maintain your addiction, or were you just "#%*$$% up." some previous experiences in life had an impact in my decision to maintain my addiction, After it all was said and done did you find that the addiction was more of a bad situation rather than a "disease" or inherent mental disorder (non drug induced). For instance, the reason why you always thought about drugs was because really, that's all you did and tried to do....just shietty lifestyle choices. I always thought it would be nice to focus, organize, and draw again. ......I always felt not fully awake...in a haze Do you believe the only way to recover is to remove yourself from the situation, for months or years until you could reboot your soul? yes, I can only speak for myself Do you think you were powerless over drugs because of your inability to handle feelings that werent related to your addictive lifestyle? I was sick as a dog when i did'nt do em.. .....stomach cramps, paralysis dreams, I could'nt think......think??!! Were relapses after recovery (after paws and all that crap) based on stupidity (i controly my drug use, or i can say no, hanging out in the barber shop) just a constant, inherent pain?. constant pain In retrospect was addiction a of form of self medication to you or was your pain the result of a tortured brain. both Last Edited By: forget suzette 07/19/08 03:35:23. Edited 2 times.
Eve au naturel		#3	[-]
Posts: 424 (07/19/08 07:09:49) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	SOS1988 wrote: Do you think that some previous experiences in life had an impact in your decision to maintain your addiction, or were you just "#%*$$% up." I didn't even try drugs until I was 21 and had just went through "the great tragedy" of my life. Being high bought me some time because I couldn't even stand being in the same room as myself. I was suicidial in a way, but I thought that having to live with my failure and what I didn't do would be a greater punnishment for me. After it all was said and done did you find that the addiction was more of a bad situation rather than a "disease" or inherent mental disorder (non drug induced). For instance, the reason why you always thought about drugs was because really, that's all you did and tried to do....just shietty lifestyle choices. For me it was both. I'm (at least) dual diganoised. I'm Bipolar, Obessive Compulsive, and I have anxiety problems; the diagnoisises pre-date my "polysubstance" drug addiction. Only now (post-meth) they're saying I have "traits of" Borderline PD. Do nothingness and crappy ways of existing instead of living was (and still is) also a big problem for me. Do you believe the only way to recover is to remove yourself from the situation, for months or years until you could reboot your soul? yes! I'm embarrased to admit this, but I'm actually living with family at my age (32) while waiting on a SSI appeal for disability. I'm having such a hard time functioning day to day even without a job. I'm trying so hard to "reboot my soul" and regain the Eve from before the fall. Do you think you were powerless over drugs because of your inability to handle feelings that werent related to your addictive lifestyle? Yeah, that and I was addicted to meth on the first night. Were relapses after recovery (after paws and all that crap) based on stupidity (i controly my drug use, or i can say no, hanging out in the barber shop) just a constant, inherent pain?. I haven't relapsed on meth because I know in my heart that the next step would be prostitution. However, the reason why I drink sometimes is due to a "constant, inherent pain." In retrospect was addiction a of form of self medication to you or was your pain the result of a tortured brain. Both
smilewasmask		#4	[-]
Posts: 2233 (07/19/08 07:46:51) Forum Friend Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Do you think that some previous experiences in life had an impact in your decision to maintain your addiction, or were you just "#%*$$% up." I think that I was so f-cked up that I just could not get beyond the desire to be on the same page as my man......which was get high and work,work, work... After it all was said and done did you find that the addiction was more of a bad situation rather than a "disease" or inherent mental disorder (non drug induced). For instance, the reason why you always thought about drugs was because really, that's all you did and tried to do....just shietty lifestyle choices. ....bad situation and very poor choices....i think i let myself believe that i had a disease.....there was definately dis EASE. wasn't anything easy about it.... Do you believe the only way to recover is to remove yourself from the situation, for months or years until you could reboot your soul? ....when I first was going to answer...I was going to write how I had stayed put...how I am in the same community and about how well it has turned out for me...but then I got to thinking about it and in reality....I was incarcerated for 6 months , that last time ...and while I was in...my husband was busted big time and our home burned to the ground and all...so yes, I had to be removed from the situation...and I was able to reboot my soul......(I like that...rebooting of the soul....) Do you think you were powerless over drugs because of your inability to handle feelings that werent related to your addictive lifestyle? ...at first , i couldn't handle being the only one not using...and then i couldn't handle the insanity of the reality that i had allowed to become the norm....so i used to numb down..... Were relapses after recovery (after paws and all that crap) based on stupidity (i controly my drug use, or i can say no, hanging out in the barber shop) just a constant, inherent pain?. ........i haven't had any relapses after i have honestly and truly found recovery. Before, i was just abstaining and pretending...and jumping through the hoops....and being stupid... In retrospect was addiction a of form of self medication to you or was your pain the result of a tortured brain. ...............self medicating the self tortured brain

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