Loved Ones - General Discussion - Discussion Areas - KCI.org Methamphetamine Abuse Discussion Forum - Message Board - Yuku

KCI The Anti-Meth Site	Live Chat
*Sponsored Link

RSS
Email

0 Kudo

<< Previous Topic Next Topic >>

Loved Ones

Author	Comment
DopelessHopeFiend1		#21	[-]
Posts: 8 (07/18/08 10:14:54) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	"Don't hate the addict, hate the drug!" Yes, Yes, Yes!!!! Addiction is a Brain Disease. Addicts are sick people who need to get better.
danimal55		#22	[-]
Posts: 7338 (07/18/08 10:27:53) Forum Star More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	or...kick hate to the curb where it belongs. "hate the drug"? I fail to see a sloution there [looks for solution] How is it possible to hate a inanimate toxic pile'o chemical shyt that has no conscience or intelligence. I'm with sfj, and others...."meth gets too much credit" As for you loved ones...just straighten up! and hurry up about it! jk
Hurting for YOU		#23	[-]
Posts: 714 (07/18/08 10:31:09) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	.................ha ha Dan...........straighten up???? There is no chance of that for this loved one..............that wouldn't be any fun!
starfishlover123		#24	[-]
Posts: 1256 (07/18/08 10:32:19) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Dopeless, What is your story, and how can we help YOU here? I would request that you refrain from insulting the posters and "diagnosing" their problems. Perhaps looking inward would be more beneficial for you. I'd doubt you have much to offer anyone by trying to solve anyone else's problems. KISFM has a husband in tx that she is loving and supporting through his addiction. Of course she has anger issues, and she is more than acknowledging them and working through them. She has not abandoned her sick husband BY FAR, and she is learning not to feed his addiction and how to cope, in healthy ways, with her own anger and resentment for being burned - over and over. She is showing much more love and understanding, by far, than you are. So how long have your trolled here, and what have you learned ABOUT YOURSELF that you can share with the rest of us? Maybe we will all learn something. . . Are YOU perchance a sick addict who needs to get better? Last Edited By: starfishlover123 07/18/08 10:38:35. Edited 1 times.
keepitsimpleforme		#25	[-]
Posts: 424 (07/18/08 10:32:19) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	You still can't blame loved ones for posting about how they are angry, etc. That's part of it. They're trying to deal with it the best way they can. Alot of people who post on this board -- this is their first go round with all this. They have never reached out to anybody about how they feel. They are new to all of this stuff. Which is why I love this board. Because of the gentle way they are handled on here. Yes, sometimes threads get heated -- for some reason I get in the middle of those things too often. But, it's because people's emotions are so RAW. You have to be patient with people who are new to this. Or who have been buried in their own denial. Denial is a form of self preservation. It is unhealthy -- but it is what it is. And, anger/resentment is completely NORMAL for loved ones. I like reading those posts actually. Because I love reading the responses from the recovering addicts on here. You know what? I give even more kudos to some of the recovering addicts on here because when they respond to the loved ones -- alot of the time they tell them to let the addict hit bottom. They are pretty much hard-@sses on the topic. And, THAT my friend is a true sign of recovery.
keepitsimpleforme		#26	[-]
Posts: 425 (07/18/08 10:34:34) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	No, it doesn't make sense. I think I've done pretty good with my anger towards Brett. Confrontation? Yes, I will confront him on stuff. But, I make every attempt to do it with love. It ain't easy sometimes. I don't "get" what you're saying at all. Sounds like a bunch of psycho babble to me... Edited to say -- thanks starfishy! I will admit I've been too "confrontational" with Brett in the past. Yes I have. But, I don't agree with all the psychological terms being used by the dopeless one --- projection and such. When your husband pawns your stuff -- yeah -- you tend to get pizzed and "project" alot of anger. It happens. And, when you find out your husband was partying with skanks -- yeah -- you tend to project some anger about that. Too often we are told to tip toe around things. I'm not big on that. A habit of mine that tends to get me into trouble. It is something I'm working on. Last Edited By: keepitsimpleforme 07/18/08 10:40:46. Edited 2 times.
motherglory		#27	[-]
Posts: 323 (07/18/08 11:22:47) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hell yes, I am angry. At my addict and the drug. Wasted years we can't get back. Wasted money . But bottom line, I love my son regardless. Untill I found this site, I never could see his side of it. I wanted him to just stop. But I learned he was a addict and needed help. But I still have anger for his stupitdy of ever getting on the crap in the frist place. I personal am grateful I was wellcome here. I was probably in as bad a shape as my addict son at the time I frist found this site. People like Suz. enlightened me on what life was like for him, and gave me more of a ideal of how he was thinking as a addict. It was the exaddicts here that gave me hope. As a loved one of a addict. I thought for years I was alone. Now I know many people who suffered the same as me. Not that I was glad to hear of thier problems. It has just been good to be able to share and compare and pray for each other. Like I have said before with my son. Bad is still better than it was. I try not to enable him anymore. He is graduating from his rehab on Aug. 10. I just don't see anyway of making the trip to see him finish the frist thing ever in his life. I really wish I could. But it is time he do things without my help. Being mad at him dosent lessen or stop my love. I will just take this time to again to thank all those here that helped me last year when I came here so despirate. I thank God for you all. God bless you all gloria
starfishlover123		#28	[-]
Posts: 1258 (07/18/08 11:26:51) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	KIS, I absolutely agree with you about "tip-toeing" around things - that IS co-dependent behavior. I disagree that we are "projecting" anything when we get angry that our loved ones have stolen from us and cheated on us. That is worthy of an angry response - anything less would be unreasonable. If we allow these behaviors, we are sicker than they are. JMHO. Sick is when your parents have a major drunken blow-out, dad beating the crap outta mom at night, and then everyone gets up the next day, mom walks around with her black eye and bruises, and everybody just acts like nothing ever happened and "tip-toes" around the folks for a few days until the bruises are gone - THAT'S SICK! If loved ones are never allowed to express their anger and resentment, how in world can THEY get better? If the addict never understands how his/her actions, while in active addiction, affects those that love them, how do they get better? Personally, I would not want to go to a site where there are ONLY loved ones, because that would probably just turn into a "self-pity-bytch-session." It makes perfect sense to have loved ones and addicts together to get one another's perspective - without attacking each other. This board has grown by leaps and bounds in that direction. I think, for the most part, we all just want those we love to get better - then all the other crap can be forgiven later. Love does cover a multitude of sins. But love does not conquer all, and the past has a way of creeping in and causing doubt, not to mention that trust MUST BE EARNED. When one has burned another over and over, that trust can take a long time to earn, for sure. Bottom line, it hurts like hel* when have to watch, wait, pray, have faith, see either no progress or the horrible progression of this "brain disease," (if you buy into that theory,) and love from afar. There is no "projection" in that at all. Perhaps, (and this is just a guess,) Dopeless one, (if in fact this poster is "dopeless,") is not altogether in recovery right now. If he/she were, he/she would understand how much RECOVERING loved ones and RECOVERING addicts learn from one another. Again, JMHO. Blessings, Starfishy ><>
Loraura		#29	[-]
Posts: 7330 (07/18/08 11:31:55) Moderator More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Phoenix, you forgot to change your IP first. Go get your drama fix somewhere else.

<< Previous Topic Next Topic >>

THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE.
The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of a health care professional if you have a specific health concern. Information posted or provided by KCI.org may be reproduced and used on KCI.org or other publications. However, we acknowledge the author retains original copyright.

Copyright © 1999-2008 by KCI The Anti-Meth Site - All Rights Reserved
Legal Disclaimers and Copyright Notices