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Here's a thought for the "life isn't fair" column. Some people require a great deal more out of a relationship than others. The fifty - fifty ideal is very seldom seen in reality. Quite often one may require sixty percent and only give about forty or less. It just doesn't add up. If one spouse needs more love than he/she is able to give, the partner is going to get frustrated to the breaking point and the relationship goes sour.

For example:

Partner A gives only forty percent, but expects to get fifty percent.

That just isn't fair.

The spouse, Partner B gives fifty, but only gets forty in return.

What happens? B gets irritated and goes off on A for being unfair and withholding love.

A gets equally irritated and feels that love is being withheld and so goes to meth to get the feelings desired.

Stay with me on this one folks: More to come, next time. I know I have to deal with this very slowly and very cautiously.

Another subject:

We addicts keep putting poison, drugs, in our bodies knowing that they are harmful to us.

Yes, all addicts know what they are doing and that the drugs are harmful. But we seem to think in such a bizarre manner. Like, "This next bag is the one that will make things better."

Suicide has been discussed recently. My best friend at work, told me one of his long time neighbors and good friend had committed suicide this week. Suicide is always tragic. One sponsor said,

"We learn as much from those who do it wrong as the ones who do it right"

Bumper stickers?

"There are no successful drug addicts"

"Remember, This disease wants you dead"

The following is from page 11 in the NA workbook.

"Some of us resisted this step because we thought it required us to be religious. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in the NA program that requires a member to be religious. The idea that 'anyone may join us, regardless of … religion or lack of religion' is fiercely defended by our fellowship. Our members strive to be inclusive in this regard and do not tolerate anything that compromises the unconditional right of all addicts to develop their own individual understanding of a power greater than themselves."

WE read some questions about violent behavior last month.

Many of the rumors and reports about meth use are false and based on hype. Sensationalism is often used as a replacement for truth when the truth lacks sufficient merit to stand alone as a persuasive device.

However, many meth users do become violent, (of course, many non-users also become violent)

If there is an increase in the incidence of violence, I'd be willing to wager that the percentage is single digit.

Violence is more often a result of factors such as sleep deprivation induced paranoia. This is actually a secondary effect of meth use and so, it may be included depending upon your criteria.

Again, I seriously doubt that the incidence of increased violence is more than a few percent higher.

My guess is not scientific and I really don't have any evidence to support these other than being quite involved in the meth community for years as an addict, friend of addicts, rehab client, recovering addict, CMA Secretary, volunteer for recovery organizations, professional substance abuse counselor and credentialed educator and one who spends a good amount of time doing empirical research. (that's a fancy word meaning, "I looked at it.")

For most of us there is a very strong connection between sex and meth use. Guys go into mental fantasies and often get quite involved in porn and other activities of "The Darker Side." But it seems that women also have some unusual feelings about this. Most, if not all the women who use meth do it for a variety of reasons and the dominant one is to lose weight. Some believe that getting housework done is a good enough reason. Why would any woman want to lose weight? To be more attractive? Why would a woman want to be more attractive? To gain the companionship, love, and admiration of the opposite sex? If this is the case, isn't sex and speed a kinship with women also?

If anyone has a different way of looking at this, I'd like to know what it is. The irony is that no matter how much weight a gal loses, she still continues to lose her attractiveness when she uses meth. The natural attraction of a woman to a man is so much more than fat vs. skinny or plump vs. svelte. It's been said over and over again that one of our society's problems is that things that can't be measured seem to be without merit or worth. We can measure weight on a scale. We can measure girth with a tape measure. But how on earth can we measure a lovely lady's radiant glow? As soon as a gal starts using crank, all the loveliness, the glowing femininity, and the attraction that produces the urge to merge just starts to vanish into a cold, sunken gray, deathlike demeanor.

It doesn't happen right away, but by the time she has lost enough weight to be considered more slender, she has already acquired a habit and an addiction. She has also created a very ugly and repulsive countenance. Guys are certainly no better, - maybe worse. Guys are by nature and comparison very horny and quite retarded when it comes time to please a woman properly. OK, some guys are able to grow up and behave but just check any joke site on the web about guys and the stereotype is very clear in its boundaries and definitions. So the men think that using speed makes them great lovers? For a little while, yes. But then, with continued use, men having difficulty rising to the occasion. So what do they do? Use more and live in a fantasy world because they can't perform in reality. Now, how retarded is that?