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Well the long story short is that my Ex called me last night and wants help. He said he wants to go to treatment. He had to go to court today and I want to
help him but I also don't want to get hurt once again from him? He don't have a job, place to live pretty much anything anymore. Do you think they will
help him without insurance or anything? Just need some direction here if possible! Thanks!
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point me in the right direction
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 No More Lies |
point me in the right direction |
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Posts: 543 (06/24/08 09:10:11) |
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no more mething around |
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Posts: 1356 (06/24/08 09:18:10) Forum Friend |
My first thought was the right direction would be whichever direction is the opposite.
My son went to court and had no place to live and they never even looked at me - he went to a homeless shelter - they had lots of resources available and weren't allowed to lie around sleeping or watching TV all day - they had to get up, eat...pack a lunch and git to gittin putting back their life. Don't get sucked back in is what I would say. jmo |
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le grumps |
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Posts: 3568 (06/24/08 09:30:46) Forum Grouch |
Is there a local Salvation Army? They're free, and they are a good program.
If the Christian thing doesn't appeal, the Salvation Army should be able to let you know what another free/low cost option is. IF you decide to help by being a ride to treatment, you should commit to doing ONLY that. Like, only pick him up when the next stop is rehab. If you feel deep down that it won't actually turn out that way, then resist the urge to see him at all. Best of luck, I know this is hard! |
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nineyearsclean |
My best advice: | ||
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Posts: 7767 (06/24/08 09:37:11) Best Friend to KCI |
The Salvation Army has a free drug and alcohol inpatient rehabilitation program, and they are located all over the country.
He should contact their Intake Office and set up an appointment. You can go online to find the facility that is in his area. If I were you, the extent of my involvement would be to look up the phone number of the facility closest to him and give it to him; then, after HE makes the appointment, I would give him a ride to the facility and drop him off. The rest is up to him. That's my best advice. |
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TenderheartsKS |
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Posts: 1804 (06/24/08 09:40:30) Moderator |
nineyearsclean wrote:
^Co-signed.
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motherglory |
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Posts: 298 (06/24/08 10:12:19) |
Teen Challenge has mens centers in many of thier facilitys. My son has been in the one in Pensacola Fla for ten months. When he finishes in August, he is
going to continue for 6 more months in a halfway program. Up to then all the money he works out on the job they get him, has went to them for his room and
board. During the six months rentry program, he gets to keep his money and his job. He still is subject to thier rules. But it is giving him a chance to
stand on his own two feet again. I personaly think its the best thing ever happen to him.
He was home recently on a pass, and we had some problems. But I think we are past them now. I refuse to let him go back to killing himself. I told his counselors he wasn't ready to get out in August. But the good thing is he wasn't forced into the 6 months rentry program. This he chose. You can find out about Teen challenge online. They work you for your keep. It is Christian based program. God bless Good luck gloria |
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No More Lies |
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Posts: 544 (06/24/08 10:58:41) |
Thanks everyone!! I found a place in our town and I made the appt for him tonight to go and get the evalutation. I guess it is a start. Not quite sure where we
go from there but at least it is a start and one that he choose to make!! He has never admitted that he is an addict to anyone but me and he actually went to
his 1st NA meeting last night on his own! It made me feel good for him and he just said "it's a start".....
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Sfj |
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Posts: 6464 (06/24/08 11:00:51) - |
You said he is your "Ex."
Why are you even considering this? |
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No More Lies |
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Posts: 545 (06/24/08 11:06:26) |
I want to help him get the help I have been telling him that he needs. This will help me begin my recovery knowing that I have done everything I can do for
him. I will always love him and he will always be the father of my child but I know, and I think he knows too, that I am not the one who can help him. HE needs
to do this himself. I am just helping him get there. that's all
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jg1985 |
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Posts: 62 (06/24/08 11:11:34) |
No More Lies
I completely understand....just be very careful. You can love him from a distance. Don't enable him and have faith. They do recover and I hope that he does for his own sake. He is only killing himself, but he can take everyone that loves him down with him if YOU are not careful. Hugs, jg |
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julikw |
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Posts: 6 (06/24/08 11:43:07) |
I live in Brnd.
MN has a special program for uninsured and underinsured, so treatment is available to everyone. My son went to 3 treatments and 2 halfway houses, all of which were paid by the county/state. Have him talk to his lawyer/public defender, or just go to social services. The court might order treatment if his crime is drug related or if he asks for it. Another option is drug court. I've heard the program is really good. There's also Teen Challenge in Brnd. My son did the best at Pine Manor, in Park Rapids. He also went to St Joes, Center for Alcohol and Drug Treatment, in Duluth , Riverplace, in Anoka, and some awful place in Hastings, that I can't remember the name of. From experience I know that if he really wants help he can find it. I'd point him in the direction of social services. Julie
Last Edited By: julikw
06/24/08 12:14:11.
Edited 2 times.
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cortyshell |
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Posts: 834 (06/24/08 12:03:53) Special Member |
There has to be something for him to get help. It may take hard work and diligence on his part but that just proves motivation. Other then helping him locate a
sliding scale or free treatment center and I am sure there are many, you probably shouldn't help in any other way.
You are a beautiful woman, you don't need to accept trashy treatment and get hurt for no reason. |
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kell |
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Posts: 2756 (06/24/08 14:33:07) Forum Friend |
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amlynne |
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Posts: 43 (06/25/08 03:23:29) |
hello,..........My name is Amy and I have been clean and sober for 2 years. I live in your area
There is a treatment/sober living place called Hope Haven and its in Madison. I do believe they help people with no insurance. your friend will have to get on a waiting list, and check in with them every day to let them know he really wants help until theres a bed for him. I have had a few friends get help there and they had good things to say about it. They may also have a list of other options as well. Wish you well, and I pray your friend finds it within himself to follow through, and learn how to help himself get clean, and stay clean. Peace, Amy |
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FSOAB |
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Posts: 1439 (06/25/08 06:30:10) Forum Friend |
He has never admitted that he is an addict to anyone but me
I tend to have a problem with this. He has never admitted to anyone close to him besides you? |
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LdyOfWzdm |
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Posts: 724 (06/25/08 07:18:44) |
TenderheartsKS wrote: ^^^^Co-signed^^^^ |
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TenderHeart77 |
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Posts: 714 (06/25/08 09:29:46) |
Hey girl! You know my story. Let him make the appointment. I got the number but I let him make the appointment and do the leg work. They have to do it on there
own. Mine has insurance thru my work. But I do know like about there are program out there depending on which state you are in that have free assistance. I
used the locator on this site and surf the internet to find a good place for mine.
But hey so far he goes for a month then relapses. Has not worked...Yet. He has not wanted it bad enough. Stay strong but let him do most of the work. He got to want it. Mine admits he is a addict to me and his whole family. That has not help him get clean. Maybe it is the first step to recovery. But I do think he should tell his family. Family support while in recovery is very important at least that is what I think. Take Care Hon.
Last Edited By: TenderHeart77
06/25/08 09:33:43.
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phoenix |
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Posts: 1294 (06/25/08 10:52:17) Forum Friend |
He has, no job, no home, pretty much no "anything"….
Normies tend to think that when a person get's to a low point in there life such as this that it will "motivate" a person to action, and if your "normal" it would…. To other's it might just break what little spirit they have left. I don't see how making a few phone calls to help him find a bed can hurt that much. There is such a huge difference between a hand out and a hand up. |
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cortyshell |
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Posts: 836 (06/25/08 14:17:55) Special Member |
Phoenix,
I would have to disagree with you. Whether you are considered "normal" or not hitting a difficult period in your life always makes you feel like your spirit is breaking. Most of us go through phases when we do not think we can "do it" (whatever it is) or keep going, but we all do-because we have to. If someone is an addict there is still the opportunity to motivate. Or we could all use the excuse that life is just too hard and we aren't "normal" enough to make an effort to change it. He is claiming the motivation to change, no one else did. Excuses are like ........... |
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