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Greetings gang! As I've said before, I know not what moves me to share what comes out of me heart, or if it makes sense, so I just put it out there. My
quest for finding a job, after much effort, is still fruitless at this point. I signed an offer sheet earlier this week w/a national retailer, who really
wanted me. My drug test was fine, yet a felony conviction from 9 yrs ago came up, and I got the paperwork on it today. In addition to an employment agency
calling and saying "Thanks, but no thanks." The one I pay rent to seems to think that the constant whining and negativity will somehow
'help' the situation. There is many reasons for one being dysfunctional, and I think he came from an abusive father. Yet I told him he can 1) Hang with
me and it will work out. 2) Give me a verbal 7 days, and no court paperwork will be needed. I'll go! 3) Under no circumstances will I listen to negativity.
It serves no useful purpose! I continue to have my faith, my trust in God, and continue to look for work. I am apprecitive of his patience, and would surly
change things if I could. Yet I have been one with much negativity all my life, and only this past 15 weeks of awakening, of sobriety, have I been able to shed
such. I will not go back to those days, or the days of using. Nor will I listen to such. Even if I pack a bag, and hit the road. I still have daily trials,
such as this, yet the choice of being a junkie again just do not enter the equation. It will not happen. Maybe I am to be further humbled, so be it. Yes, I am
suffering some depression, wondering what is next, and why. We have convicted felons in congress, yet I cannot get a low paying job with a retailer. who am I
to question it all. I am told we live in a "very forgiving country". We do, if you are a celebrity, or an all star ball player. Of which, I am
neither. So be it. I have no control over people, places, or things. Only my own reaction to such. And its getting tough. So off I go to La Habra, to a huge
100 lb puppy who thinks he is a lap dog, and his buddy. I guess getting out of here will be good for me. Away from dysfunctional people, away from my dark
room, away from the negativity that surly awaits me upon my return. Have a great weekend! 
P.S. I even tired changing my luck and got rid of the 'stache! Didn't work (LOL)
P.S. I even tired changing my luck and got rid of the 'stache! Didn't work (LOL)
