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Well he went, to his first initial rehab meeting yesterday. Took 2 hours and I'm not really sure what was said but the counselor told him that his company
had a program that allowed him 6-8 weeks off from work for personal stuff - its called something - I can't remember the initials. But all he has to do is
tell his superior at work why - and noone else. He's hoping that superior will keep it quiet because he hasn't failed a pee test or anything and is
trying to keep this quiet (apparently the guys are pretty harassing about stuff like this). So - my question - is he doing it because he gets off work because
he hates his job - or to really get help? Or should I even care as long as he does it? He'll be in an intensive out-patient program and some days during
the week he'll be there all day - they drug test him extensively during the 6-8 weeks. I'm new to all this - so I don't know what all is involved
in this type of program. But my gut tells me that he needs to do it because he told the counselor he had a problem with meth and it was getting out of hand -
so to me either reason he's doing it is better than doing nothing. Tell me if I'm right or wrong! Cuz like I said I really have no clue. Thanks!
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Husband went to first meeting yesterday!
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 LostinTx68 |
Husband went to first meeting yesterday! |
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Posts: 11 (05/14/08 05:16:33) Newcomer! |
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Hurting for YOU |
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Posts: 528 (05/14/08 05:43:19) |
LostinTx68 wrote:This is just my opinion...............for some reason.......when it comes to a person admitting that they have a "meth problem" it is very difficult. Yesterday I was talking to one of my friends that their husband had an alcohol, drug, and meth problem. He was okay with admitting that he had all of his problems except the meth problem..............for some reason he didn't want others to know he had a meth problem. He was even injured at work and went to the doctor privately and paid out of his own pocket in order to avoid a drug test that result in postive meth detection.... So to say all that................I believe that a person has to WANT help in order for any kind of treatment to work. He went to his meeting yesterday right? Did you hold a gun to his head as he went? I highly doubt it. I think if he can go to his supervisor and admit to him why he will be off work for a while...........then I really think that his heart is in the right place. What I think is important for you to remember is that it did not take overnight for this condition to get where it is today and it will not be fixed overnight. I also think that this a GREAT positive step for him and for you and your family. ONE DAY AT A TIME. For now be thankful that for whatever reason......................he is going into treatment...............he may be the only one that knows the REAL reason..........but I don't think that matters............because he has to fix him first. Thinking of you always, Katie |
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Loraura |
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Posts: 6813 (05/14/08 06:33:10) Moderator |
Will it work? Is it the right thing? Will it help? How does it work?
All good questions for HIM TO WORRY ABOUT. Relax. This is all his responsibility. Ask him if there is anything he would like your help with. Other than that, it's his "thing". |
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LostinTx68 |
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Posts: 12 (05/14/08 07:03:52) Newcomer! |
Loraura - your right. It is his reponsibility! Thanks.
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MkUsmile |
Its called..... | ||
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Posts: 245 (05/14/08 07:22:52) |
FMLA (family medical leave act) and you really need to do some homework before he tells his boss.
I'm attaching some links to articles you should read first, this paragraph jumped out at me..... "FMLA leave is available for treatment for substance abuse provided the conditions described in the definition of "serious health condition" are met (see 29 CFR §825.114(d)), such treatment, however, does not prevent an employer from taking employment action against an employee if the employer has an established policy applied in a non-discriminatory manner that has been communicated to all employees. If the employer has such a policy that provides under certain circumstances an employee may be terminated for substance abuse, the employee may be terminated pursuant to that policy whether or not the employee is presently taking FMLA leave. See 29 CFR § 825.112(g)."
Take care, M. |
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Hurting for YOU |
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Posts: 530 (05/14/08 07:39:20) |
MkUsmile.................never thought about that good thinking................but as always there is a but!
If he continues his way with meth not having a job will be the last of his worries. If he loses his job for being honest and taking the steps to better his life..............then I strongly believe that it is in the master plan and his rewards will far out weigh his penalties. |
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MkUsmile |
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Posts: 247 (05/14/08 07:58:49) |
Yes, he definitely needs to address the problem, but there are ways to go about it where he can get treatment AND keep his job. I would think the stress of
losing ones job would push them towards using again.
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LostinTx68 |
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Posts: 13 (05/14/08 08:17:47) Newcomer! |
MkUsmile
What are the ways he could go about it without losing his job? Any ideas?? And I do believe that his counselor is in a round about way checking with his work to anonymously check the reprocussions for him. Think that is what was said last night. |
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LostinTx68 |
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Posts: 14 (05/14/08 08:22:04) Newcomer! |
Hurting for YOU.
I posted a response to you and it hasn't shown up yet. WEIRD! Didn't want you to think I didn't respond. I'll try to recap what I said. No I didn't hold a gun to his head, he said lets get this over with and said he didn't feel it was needed but if it would make me feel better he'd go. I and most of you here know it is needed - and I'm hoping he sees that eventually. I would imagine it would be hard to admit to certain people - he didn't have that problem with the counselor Thank God! But yes I see your point. Thanks for your input - I'm taking it all in believe me. Your much appreciated. Lost... |
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LostinTx68 |
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Posts: 15 (05/14/08 08:28:30) Newcomer! |
Don't know if everyone knows - but I'm 4 months pregnant - I'm not sure if it was the stress of the events unfolding last night or what - but
sometime during the middle of the night I woke up with severe cramps on my lower left side. It went away after about 5 minutes but I have no clue what it could
have been - other than stress - and I'm fine now. Anyone know if this happening to anyone else - I haven't had a baby in 13 years. LOL
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phoenix |
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Posts: 1228 (05/14/08 08:29:35) Forum Friend |
I went thru something like what your husband is going thru.
For starters I don't think he has to tell his boss too much, just tell him that you have a medical issue that requires treatment. In no way does he have to mention METH! When it is medically related than your husband has HIPA protection, it is nobodys buisness what he is going to treatment for. If ANY of his co-workers give him ANY shyt about it he should notify his supervisor that if it continues he should expext an EEOC law suit! |
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keepitsimpleforme |
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Posts: 240 (05/14/08 09:06:17) |
I believe that a person has to WANT help in order for any kind of treatment to work.
I agree 110% with this statement. If he doesn't "want" it --- it won't matter how much rehab he does. Harsh words but so true. 
Sounds like he does want it -- he's making the effort. Good for him! 
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MkUsmile |
FMLA | ||
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Posts: 250 (05/15/08 07:45:46) |
LostinTX,
Perhaps the doctor could list "medical rehabilitation for recoverable life threatening illness". Doctors are pretty smart about skirting an exact illness. FMLA should entitle him to 12 full weeks of leave w/ his position or comparable position being guaranteed upon his return. Hope this all works out for your family. Best wishes, M. |
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robertborges |
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Posts: 105 (05/15/08 17:54:42) |
I went thru a inhouse program when i worked for coka cola.I tild them i had a problem with prescription meds and alchohal.I was a driver their wasnt any
problems.
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LostinTx68 |
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Posts: 17 (05/16/08 14:00:36) Newcomer! |
So just a regular doctor or would the counselor be able to do such a thing?/ Thanks for your help - he's scared they'll fire him so I'm running
into some problems here. Thanks
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LostinTx68 |
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Posts: 17 (05/16/08 14:00:37) Newcomer! |
So just a regular doctor or would the counselor be able to do such a thing?/ Thanks for your help - he's scared they'll fire him so I'm running
into some problems here. Thanks
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Loraura |
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Posts: 6827 (05/16/08 15:04:50) Moderator |
"he's scared they'll fire him so I'm running into some problems here."
Who's running into problems? HE needs to ask WHO needs to fill out WHAT form, and WHAT the form needs to have on it for HIM to get the benefits. Right? Bottom line he needs to call his HR department and ask some questions. You can't take this fear from him. If he's not calling the right people to get the right answers, then he's just dragging his feet. His own fears about GETTING HELP and what others would then expect from him may be pulling hard at him to find an excuse not to get that help. I mean, if he gets help, and STILL can't stay clean, well then people will come down on him, be disappointed, etc. Right now he has an excuse for people being disappointed. When that excuse is gone, what if he still can't make it? Don't underestimate fear as a driving force in his actions. |
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luvepiphany |
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Posts: 7576 (05/16/08 15:07:38) Forum Star |
he's scared they'll fire him so I'm running into some problems here. Thanks Careful.....they really are His problems, not yours. I mean I understand that the financial burdens could be great. The doctor at Kaiser should be just fine. If he wants to keep out the meth issues, like MKusmile said, there are ways for the dr. to list the diagnosis. But he might as well do it himself as it's going to show whether or not this is important enough to him.....recovery I mean. This is where it got really sticky for me with my addict x bf. I literally could NOT understand why he kept making excuses as to why he couldn't go to treatment. It often came down to the money issue and it would have been all paid for him. He ended up getting arrested and then failing the court ordered treatment (he didn't fail, he just never tried) and now he's back in jail. For many, it takes quite a few go arounds to finally get Into treatment. I know that I got VERY stressed when my addict x was NOT doing the logical and smart thing.....over and over and over again. I finally felt much better when I didn't have a say in it or any responsibility at all. For me, letting go and letting God handle the addict has been the most freeing thing. I had to let the cops take him from me though.....I kept hanging onto itty bitty bits of his business. I totally think that God handled it quite well, much better than I. In fact when I was trying to make things happen, Nothing happened. In alanon & naranon, they said that's what happened to most people but I had to see it for myself to believe it. Like every single great thing I did, never seemed to give me a good return on my investment of time. Hopefully he will talk honestly with the doctor and dr's have confidentiality ya know.... luv |
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