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I only found freedom
in not watching.

If I watched my addict, I was still controlled by his addiction demons.

If I listened in that early recovery time and stayed in the fray,

I was still controlled by the same addiction demons trying like h3ll to hold him.

They held me too.

Then it became my fight too and in twisted ways, I contributed to his justifying

instead of helping.

It's the truth, that the addict HAS to do it themself so that if by chance we aren't around some day,
they can STILL DO IT without us.

Saving myself without the addict clean or not has been the greatest gift I've ever given myself.

I became addicted to the outcome of the addict's recovery fight. When he lost, and went back out, and then to jail,
I became Devastated.

Let this time be about YOU and Healing and Recovery.

Remember, if he hangs onto you, you hold some power or control over him and you also can become an excuse to use again-
in the addict mind, that is logical even for the most brilliant and academic of them all.

luv