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Ever been with someone you just thought you couldn't live without? Ever had such intimacy with someone that was so true and real it surpassed "love," (as love is just an emotion.) Felt like you were one. . .if that person died, you would too - or at least a part of you?
I did, and it was beautiful. I lost it to a ruthless bytch named Crystal who takes no prisoners. Crystal - Meth, that is. She stole my soulmate - stole his sanity, his health, our home, our money, our vehicles, our property, and our lives together.
I prayed, hoped, waited, trusted, believed in a miracle. . . He got deeper and deeper until there was nothing left that I could even recognize in him anymore. He used to be so strong and handsome,loving and kind. I thought he was invincible. He looked like him, but he wasn't "him" anymore. He was cruel and hateful and violent - the "anti- him." Bruised and battered, threatened and terrified, I finally escaped. I saved myself and left him the burning building. I had no choice.
We were "joined at the hip" so to speak - always together or wanting to be together. We loved, we laughed, raised kids, climbed mountains, and when we got to the top, Crystal knocked it all down. I've never even seen this ugly bytch, but she must have some marvelous power over people's will, because they give it all for her. They give up everything beautiful and true in their lives to a piece of toxic waste. . . I mourned so deeply I wondered if I would live. I suppose people can and do die of a broken heart, but I lived.
Now, I walk through the dessert seeking the oasis. I can see it from a distance, but when I get there, there are trees and water, but no plants. I move through the dessert and see another oasis. When I get there, it has water and plants, but no shade. And so I keep walking the dessert, endlessly searching for that what I long for so deeply that it haunts my dreams.
Will I ever find the oasis? Maybe there are no more. . .
Then again, I'm gonna keep searching. What else is there to do?
