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I venting a little because I'm (once a friggin again) missing my ex and I just need to write this down so I can remember how bad it is with him while
he's using..........
First of all, he just doesn't care. Doesn't care about me, his kids - nothing. Sometimes I think maybe he never did - but I have to correct myself because I know I felt loved. I know I did.
Anyway, (although he's living with someone else) he has been coming to my house while I'm at work. Kicking back, making himself stuff to eat, etc. I know I should put a stop to it (I'm sure he's telling his other "woman" that he's at work) but I just haven't yet - because he's also fixed quite a few things for me, he's cleaned out 3 of my closets real well (yes, I think he was looking for beer that I might have hid - but hey the closets got clean).
Ok, stop - see I'm saying the good things. I need to remember the bad right!
Anyway, he hasn't given me money since November. He actually hasn't even worked but probably 5 days since then. So he can't be doing as good as he claims right. But, I've asked him for help and he keeps telling me he has no money. I told him that I bet he has money for drugs and beer so he should be able to get me money for his kids. He knows that I'll take care of them no matter what - so he's off scott free.
Also, one day I had gotten $20 worth of quarters because I needed to do the laundry. I hate not being able to use our washer/dryer. I had them on the counter to use when I got home. Not realizing that my ex was going to the house when I wasn't there. I went home and all the quarters were gone. He didn't know what they were for OR if that's all I had but he took them anyway.
A day later I got more quarters. I put them in a bag, in another bag and put them in a bill box (with tons of bills) on top of my refrigerator. I came home - they were gone again. He actually searched. That made me sick to my stomach.
He recently got his cell phone turned off - why doesn't he have the "woman" pay his bill? When we were together and his cell phone turned off - he pouted like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum. So, good maybe he's doing that with her and now I don't have to put up with that. Remember the temper tantrums!! I must remember the tantrums.
I recently got my (11 yr old) son a pre-paid cell phone. He uses it after school in case I have trouble picking him up or whatever. He forgets to take it with him sometimes. Sure enough, my ex took the phone - and I checked - he used a lot of the minutes up. How completely selfish. I got it turned off. I didn't even call him to tell him I knew what he did. I just turned it off. He knew the reason why our son had the phone and he just didn't care.
The other day when I went home I saw that he had been there. He made him something to eat and left a mess. He left the cabinets open and stuff all around. I was mad but more so I was glad because I knew before when he acted like that he was coming off the drugs and was totally irritable. So I was thinking to myself = good he's miserable right now.
Yes, I could have stopped all of this by just locking the deadbolt (he doesn't have that key). I know that. I guess I just felt that by him going over there - it proved to me that he wasn't as happy with this "woman" as he says. Although you guys told me that - I just needed some proof. I will use the deadbolt from now on.
Why would I miss someone who does these kinds of things? His addiction comes first and foremost. He's proved it time and time again. He takes money from us, he takes things from us. He lets us go without so he can have. By searching for the money or beer PROVES that he will do anything to get his drugs - I don't see him doing that to get us money for our bills.
As far as seeing the kids, he hasn't - which I said before is so strange because he went from seeing them EVERY day to now it's been more than 2 weeks. And, hasn't even called. He went to our house almost everyday last week but arrived after we left and he left before we came home - then cries to his mom "how much he misses the kids" Bull!! He can see them whenever he wants. He chooses not too.
Ok, I just had to share. I just had to vent. I know people will say - why in the heck did I let him into our house? I know, I know. Someday I'll get it. I mean I did move away from him AND that was extremely hard. I hate meth. I hate that he doesn't want help.
Yikes - I didn't realize it was so long!!
First of all, he just doesn't care. Doesn't care about me, his kids - nothing. Sometimes I think maybe he never did - but I have to correct myself because I know I felt loved. I know I did.
Anyway, (although he's living with someone else) he has been coming to my house while I'm at work. Kicking back, making himself stuff to eat, etc. I know I should put a stop to it (I'm sure he's telling his other "woman" that he's at work) but I just haven't yet - because he's also fixed quite a few things for me, he's cleaned out 3 of my closets real well (yes, I think he was looking for beer that I might have hid - but hey the closets got clean).
Ok, stop - see I'm saying the good things. I need to remember the bad right!
Anyway, he hasn't given me money since November. He actually hasn't even worked but probably 5 days since then. So he can't be doing as good as he claims right. But, I've asked him for help and he keeps telling me he has no money. I told him that I bet he has money for drugs and beer so he should be able to get me money for his kids. He knows that I'll take care of them no matter what - so he's off scott free.
Also, one day I had gotten $20 worth of quarters because I needed to do the laundry. I hate not being able to use our washer/dryer. I had them on the counter to use when I got home. Not realizing that my ex was going to the house when I wasn't there. I went home and all the quarters were gone. He didn't know what they were for OR if that's all I had but he took them anyway.
A day later I got more quarters. I put them in a bag, in another bag and put them in a bill box (with tons of bills) on top of my refrigerator. I came home - they were gone again. He actually searched. That made me sick to my stomach.
He recently got his cell phone turned off - why doesn't he have the "woman" pay his bill? When we were together and his cell phone turned off - he pouted like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum. So, good maybe he's doing that with her and now I don't have to put up with that. Remember the temper tantrums!! I must remember the tantrums.
I recently got my (11 yr old) son a pre-paid cell phone. He uses it after school in case I have trouble picking him up or whatever. He forgets to take it with him sometimes. Sure enough, my ex took the phone - and I checked - he used a lot of the minutes up. How completely selfish. I got it turned off. I didn't even call him to tell him I knew what he did. I just turned it off. He knew the reason why our son had the phone and he just didn't care.
The other day when I went home I saw that he had been there. He made him something to eat and left a mess. He left the cabinets open and stuff all around. I was mad but more so I was glad because I knew before when he acted like that he was coming off the drugs and was totally irritable. So I was thinking to myself = good he's miserable right now.
Yes, I could have stopped all of this by just locking the deadbolt (he doesn't have that key). I know that. I guess I just felt that by him going over there - it proved to me that he wasn't as happy with this "woman" as he says. Although you guys told me that - I just needed some proof. I will use the deadbolt from now on.
Why would I miss someone who does these kinds of things? His addiction comes first and foremost. He's proved it time and time again. He takes money from us, he takes things from us. He lets us go without so he can have. By searching for the money or beer PROVES that he will do anything to get his drugs - I don't see him doing that to get us money for our bills.
As far as seeing the kids, he hasn't - which I said before is so strange because he went from seeing them EVERY day to now it's been more than 2 weeks. And, hasn't even called. He went to our house almost everyday last week but arrived after we left and he left before we came home - then cries to his mom "how much he misses the kids" Bull!! He can see them whenever he wants. He chooses not too.
Ok, I just had to share. I just had to vent. I know people will say - why in the heck did I let him into our house? I know, I know. Someday I'll get it. I mean I did move away from him AND that was extremely hard. I hate meth. I hate that he doesn't want help.
Yikes - I didn't realize it was so long!!
- I'll just say that my name is Sammi then! 
