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"But, sex is supposed to be more than just the physical. Isn't it?"

That is an expectation that not everyone would co-sign.

These are the types of things that build hard-to-shake resentments. It SEEMS so obvious that everyone would think the same thing.

In reality, not everyone does. Any opinion that they SHOULD think like we do, is simply that, our opinion. Projecting our opinions onto other people usually leaves someone with their toes stepped on eventually. Sometimes it's ours.

Any behavior that is associated with intense pleasure will be "hardcoded" into our brains to want more of. If it happens to be sex while someone is high, then it's that sex that will be remembered by our brains. It's all about the dopamine.

This drive that humans have to relive those dopamine highs is not a mistake. It's survival. We, as humans, have dopamine releases when we experience things that keep us alive and procreating. Addiction is just instinct gone horribly wrong. We get the dopamine hit, we associate the behavior with pleasure, our brains hard code that behavior as good and signal us to repeat the behavior often.

It's not a character flaw to crave meaningless sex. It's a biological signal that was created at one time, and that is extremely difficult to ignore thereafter. We're made that way on purpose to keep us alive.

It is this exact same hardcoded response in the brain that signals some people to crave completely romantic emotion-filled love making. Same dopamine. Same signal. Same desire to repeat it. Just a different initial experience that left the memory in our brains that it was awesome and should be repeated.

"I just can't agree (or understand) meaningless sex. "

It's a reaction to the dopamine reward system. It's way more simple than the complex logic we might assume plays a part.

The person had meaningless sex AND had a dopamine release, which then created a memory in the brain that the brain references later.

Our brains try to maintain a "baseline" level of chemical balance. It's called homeostasis in scientific terms. When we experience a lower than normal level, our bodies reference the memories that it associated with higher than normal levels and we feel the desire to take those actions to balance out the chemical levels.

An example: We eat, a chemical reaction occurs, our levels of seratonin and dopamine increase, we are given the message to stop eating when the levels rise high. We feel desire to eat again when the levels drop back down. Chemical messengers in our brain are the code that drives us like a software application.

Some people have meaningless sex, and do not have that dopamine release, so the memory-trigger isn't there. Some do.

Humans repeat behavior because there is SOME reward in it, even if there are also some drawbacks.

Just as one might think meaningless sex is completely insane, some might think being in a stressful, unbalanced, chaotic relationship is completely insane. People who repeat behavior despite consequences are driven to do so by SOMETHING. That something is a chemical messenger.

I just got a little chemical release by having this conversation. This will probably reinforce my desire to do so again, despite that fact that there have been times that having a conversation like this one turned out to have negative consequences.

Brain chemistry is fascinating to me. Completely fascinating.