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Well,After yesterdays cry for help again.I feel that I have run my coarse with methamphetamine.I"m spelling it out so i can visualize that toxic life
taking,soul taking,crap that it really is.I concider my self a lucky man today.Because I woke up to my wife.Who after yesterdays termoil should have either
kicked me to the curb or had me admitted.I had been here (state of mind )once before.no twice before.I was determined that i wanted to end it the cowards way
out.So I loaded the .6 amount that i baught in the pipe and sat out in the garage and smoke everybit of it in one bowl full.Hit after hit.As i started my wife
comes storming through the door into the garage.And starts doing everything she could to get the pipe out of my hand.And for some reason me seeing her in that
state of mind made me think she is going to have a heart attack and its because of me.We were right by the closed garage door soo i took that pipe and threw it
as hard as i could against the door which well caused it to break in a million pieces.I had only taken to pulls when this accured.And all I wanted was for it
to be over.If that took killing myself.Well thats how it will end.But One last ditch effort to awaken my will to live I reached out in hear.And some wonderful
individuals logged on and helped me wake up..and between that and my seeing what i had become from continuing to use.I am truly blessed to have this day
saturday and all that i still have.Another chance to mend the wounds that addiction has caused.I dont know if .6 would have killed me .I hnow as little as
.5mg/l in blood stream can be fatal.This is the end for meth my friend.You ran your course in my life and I thank god that you didnt win mr
methamphetamine.Love you all.Its time to heal me and the rest will fallow.
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0 Kudo
very deep wounds
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 robertborges |
very deep wounds |
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Posts: 82 (05/10/08 08:59:23) |
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robertborges |
I"m trying to change avatar picture | ||
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Posts: 83 (05/10/08 09:06:05) |
To one i just took while posting.Thats the last time Im gonna look like that from drugs........
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nineyearsclean |
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Posts: 7595 (05/10/08 09:12:48) Best Friend to KCI |
GOOD!
Now, how are you going to do it? You need a plan. You are very sick, and you need to find some help to do this successfully. Robert, I'm not joking. This may be your last chance, so do it right. Get some help and live the life you and your family deserve. |
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robertborges |
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Posts: 85 (05/10/08 09:35:56) |
going to meetings throughot weekend started 2 nights ago.Monday I go to kaiser.Hopefully with almost three days clean they wont puit me inhouse.Just help thru
the withdrawls.But whatever they say.Iv battled back before and I know it gonna be ruff.But I'm told old for this sht now and will not give in anymore.I
will continue on a daily basis to be in here and show the progression.Instead of me dying.
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TenderheartsKS |
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Posts: 1422 (05/10/08 09:36:00) Moderator |
nineyearsclean wrote:
^Co-signed. You're going to need a lot more resources than just sitting at the keyboard typing. If it takes in-patient to get you away from it long enough to start clearing your mind and repairing your body, do it. We are limited in what we can do for you here in cyberspace. |
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 starfishlover123 |
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Posts: 1068 (05/10/08 09:43:34) |
Robert,
I can see a definite difference in your appearance today. You look more like the old pic you first posted. Your pain comes through the image as well. Though I cannot tell you I know what meth addiction or withdrawl feels like, as a loved one, I can see the pain. From what 9er and the others say, the only way through is through it. Take the hand of your Higher Power, and let Him lead you. . . Many Blessings, Starfishlover |
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mr soul shine |
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Posts: 316 (05/10/08 09:48:20) |
Robert, thanks bro for hanging in there. WE need you. you can do this.
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nineyearsclean |
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Posts: 7596 (05/10/08 09:54:26) Best Friend to KCI |
.Instead of me dying.
YES!!! Because honey, you are very close to dying. I can sense it, just like I sensed death was in the room with me when I finally surrendered and mustered up the strength to LIVE!!! Robert, there's a little guy inside of you that needs your help. He is the one who is in so much pain right now that you can no longer enjoy your drug of choice. He is crying out to you to take care of him. Help him Robert. Help him, and you help yourself. much love and hope and strength and support and anything else I can do to help you in your quest for freedom, Lori |
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robertborges |
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Posts: 86 (05/10/08 10:01:40) |
7pm na tonight 9 am mens meeting tomorrow.monday kaiser hospital.Other then emergency room the rehab only takes newcommers 9am to 10am monday thru friday.They
will asses me and offer what or suggest what i need.
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nineyearsclean |
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Posts: 7597 (05/10/08 10:07:14) Best Friend to KCI |
Sounds great. You're on your way. Be willing Robert. Be willing to do whatever you need to do to get this monkey off your back! I even changed my avatar
for you. No more monkey girl. Just little Lori to cheer you on...........
If she can do it, so can you dear one. I know it. You know it now. So get out there and fight the good fight!
Last Edited By: nineyearsclean
05/10/08 10:19:02.
Edited 1 times.
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robertborges |
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Posts: 87 (05/10/08 10:28:35) |
Thank you.cute kid
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