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Reflections on Activity (as in Active Plan of Recovery)

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Eve au naturel	Reflections on Activity (as in Active Plan of Recovery)	Lead	[-]
Posts: 337 (05/02/08 05:36:30) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I'm realizing that the mere act of not using drugs or alcohol is about the easiest part of post-withdrawal recovery FOR ME. It's right up my alley: something passive that (through avoidance) I don't have to struggle with achieving moderation. I can come up with all of these plans on paper, but getting off my arse and taking baby steps to achieiving the goals is a whole different matter. Sometimes it's even hard to get the plans on paper with all of my racing thoughts, procrastination, and (physical and emotional) clutter. It's hard for me to get out of my perverse comfort zone of inactivity/ sheer laziness & just letting life happen to me. I've been in such a rut for such a long time that it is what I've become accustomed to. In the WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) I've been working on there's a section that reads: "Describe what you're like when you're feeling well." Golly, that's a hard one! Glad it doesn't read, "...feeling well and functioning fully" because I can't think of many times that has happened. I fully think that IN MY CASE substance abuse does indeed get too much credit for the state of my life as it is now. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm as sick w/ my dual diagnosis as I act or if I'm mainly milking the fact that loved ones walk on eggshells around me & coddle me. If I really had to function better or go without basic necessities would I be able to rise to the occasion? I truly dunno. If you've gotten this far, thanX for reading me out. Words of encouragement are sought, I cannot deny it. Helpful suggestions would be apprieciated.
LdyOfWzdm	If you got a $1 Calvin can help...	#1	[-]
Posts: 435 (05/02/08 06:22:55) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	...he'll give you a swift one in the arse! Wish I had more for ya! Please know that I'm cheering for you, and all who struggle in recovery! Keep On Truckin' Lady
Penel0pe		#2	[-]
Posts: 6503 (05/02/08 07:04:19) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	It's hard to know how you feel when you feel well, when you don't know what that is, right? I know it took me quite a while to decide "This must be what it's like to be "Normal," because I had nothing else to gauge it by. "Normal" wasn't something I was even remotely familiar with - the last time I was clean I was a 13 year old kid... I was playing with toys a year before that, sooo..... Stick with it, Eve, and just take it a day at a time. If you feel like crap, acknowlege it, "GOD I FEEL LIKE SHYT," and know that you are right where you are supposed to be - it's a part of what we all had to get through in early recovery. Slowly but surely, things get better, and one day, you might even think, "Hey, this must be what Normal feels like." I've just kinda accepted that this must be what normal feels like for ME.
Eve au naturel		#3	[-]
Posts: 338 (05/02/08 12:31:08) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	lol @ Lady's cute pic. As usual, PenelOpe, your post really hits home and helps. ThanX a million! I have found a few little tricks that help light a fire under me and spur me to action, even if it's just a brief spurt. Firstly, I download songs individually on the 'puter and arrange them into mood music experiences on CD's. I've got quite a few that are inspirational/ motivational. Sometimes it seems kind-o' cheesy to have to listen to "Eye of the Tiger" to get pumped up to tackle something like house cleaning. But heck, if it works.... Next, brief exposure to direct sunlight seems to help. Does anyone have any tips/ tricks used to psyche yourself up in order to have the energy/ motivation to tackle projects in life? I'm thinking that standing barefoot outdoors with my arms and legs out like a star while praying might help.
donnaeve		#4	[-]
Posts: 685 (05/02/08 12:56:03) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	eve.you are funny sux huh when you look around at all those happy,smiling faces and think yourself'wonder what it actually feels like to feel 'normal?' iv been diagnosed with a few disorders too . . one thing you can do is just not dwell on them,try and change your thinking pattern . like . . 'this is me-cheery.sure;moody at times but hey arnt we all',ummmm blah blah,blah,healthy patterns of thought! consciously,try and pull yourself out of negtive labelling thinking mode and okay,il plug the yoga!hehe have you tried l-tyrosine with orange juice in the morning-its a great natural dopamine restorer . . . k-gotta go now to yogaaa you just inspired methanx sweetie!
phoenix		#5	[-]
Posts: 1201 (05/02/08 16:25:10) Forum Friend Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	"Next, brief exposure to direct sunlight seems to help" New studys are showing that vitamin D has more to do with how we feel than previousaly thought. Vitamin D deficiancys are being linked to depression. You might try 2000 iu's and see if you feel a differance. Better yet, since you are a woman, you might consider taking a Calcium Citrate supplement that has the D already added to it. Not only might it elevate your mood, but your bones will thank you for it later too.
nineyearsclean	If I really had to function better or go without basic necessities would I be able to rise to the occasion?	#6	[-]
Posts: 7544 (05/02/08 18:16:18) Best Friend to KCI Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	When I was a mere 6 months clean, after losing everything I had worked my entire adult life for, at the age of 40, and in a very frail state of mind, they sent me to prison for the first criminal offense of my life. Being suicidal since I was an adolescent, I was sure that I'd not be able to rise to the occasion. There was no question in my mind that I would die in prison, probably by my own hand, but possibly by someone else's. I had no street sense. I was an upper middle class wife and mother and a professional in the legal community. My crime was behind meth, but it was a paper crime; not a violent crime. I was not from the wrong side of the tracks. First they put me in the only maximum security facility for women in California, with the only women's death row right across the street, and later I was to be transferred to the prison where the Manson women live. By the time I got to prison, my involvement with N.A. and the step work was still it's early stages. Little did I know that a foundation was being laid for a new way of living my life on a daily basis. In fact, unbeknownst to me until I got to prison, with all of it's wretched humiliation and fear and solitude and minimum daily allowance of anything and everything, that foundation helped me rise to the occasion, and to survive in surroundings I could have never withstood without my new way of coping. The tools I learned during my brief 6 months going to N.A. meetings and working that fking program like it was the only hope I had of surviving what I knew I was going to have to face, I believe, saved my life. Not only did what I learned in the N.A. program of recovery help me stay clean, but it helped me become a person of honesty and humility, and that gave me the courage I needed to walk through a dangerous and scary place with my head held high. Prison changed me forever. So did meth. But the bright side of all of that is that the tools I learned in N.A. changed me too; they made me someone unafraid to face myself, and to change things about me when I see they need changing; they made someone who could finally believe in herself; they made me someone who knows that determination and perseverence are everything if you want something bad enough. Get off your azz and start learning a new way to live, because that's what rising to the occasion, and successful recovery, requires, in my humble opinion. Last Edited By: nineyearsclean 05/02/08 18:20:11. Edited 2 times.
Eve au naturel		#7	[-]
Posts: 340 (05/03/08 02:58:29) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Wow, Niner, that's a powerful testimony! The first time I read it I started to twitch like something inside me was waking up. DonnaEve, you bring up a great point about not to let my diagnosises define who I am and how I live. Phoenix, that's a great idea for this "house mouse".

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