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Well its 1 am tuesday morning.well im at the 2 day mark again not using.i posted tiday sucks as it did.stopping something that your mind and body have adjusted
to is hard.i went around the house all day with this inner anger in my stomache.apperantly one of the withdrawel symtoms.then out of the blue mife wife entered
my mind.You see we have been married 25 yrs .raised 2 daughters and i was a good functioning addict thru the biggining years of using started at 25 thats when
it was the good stuff.If your jaw wasnt grinding the stuff was bunk.but anyway the flood gates opened and i cried like a baby and actually still am and that
was in the morning.What came to mind is imaganing not having her in my life and what im doing to her.She is so preciouse to me.what am i doing i told
myself.somegay one of us will pass and it hurt so bad to imagine that time.who nows how long we have and life is a gift.why shorten it anymore.and were would
they be without me my family is very dependent on me my wife was able to stay home with my daughters untill they graduated she just started working a year ago
full time.she did take care of her mother who came to live with us after my fatherinlaw passed and she was in a wheel dhair from a stroke. she was with us for
9 years with my wife bathing lifting and being their for her.it was hard on all of us.the point is and this is why i quit being an ass.and trying to leave my
family on thier own.i dont want to die it scares me .so no more trying to kill myself which i no will happen.let me die at gods time.this site and the people
in it that are struggling stop now because living or dying using is hell on earth.i want my soul back and live what life i have left clean.i think i"ll
stick around and try to make friends here.
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hard to sleep
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 robertborges |
hard to sleep |
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Posts: 17 (04/22/08 00:17:56) |
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The Doc49 |
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Posts: 62 (04/22/08 01:01:03) |
Robert, keep up the good work an, you are worth it. Read my post, about living with one who still uses...tonight is no "walk in the park" and it was
never meant to be. We all just do what we must, and doing the right thing, making healthy choices, and coming here to KCI to share, vent, listen...is of such a
healthy choice. good going, time for me to go back to bed, hang tough, breathe deep, look yourself in the mirror, REALLY. and tell yourself you will make it,
and you are worth it. I know you are, and I think you are starting to see you are. I am with you brother. Just do not "let go"!
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forget suzette |
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Posts: 13802 (04/22/08 02:03:09) Retro Space Cadet |
have you tried black and white documentaries?
.....or the bible? they put me right out! (no offense folks, the way it's written is HARD on this ADHD child, besides, God comes to me in dreams and tells me what she expects.) .... valarian root is good too. it makes you sleep good once you're down. ......tylonal PM will put you to sleep too. I am an insomniac, I always have been. I'm up every hour..like a coo coo clock. lol |
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debs4321 |
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Posts: 584 (04/22/08 04:32:56) |
Time heals all Robert.
Patience.......... It does get better, the longer you stay clean. Keep doing what you are doing and it will get easier. Stick around make friends, we are here for you. Love, Deb |
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pogosticks |
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Posts: 15 (04/22/08 09:09:41) |
Hang in there Robert. All you really have to do is breathe. Stick around...these people know what they're talking about.
I know it sucks now. It does get better. I promise. |
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 Penel0pe |
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Posts: 6376 (04/22/08 09:58:28) Moderator |
You can do this, Robert. It is always hard in the beginning - but it will get easier the more time that you put between today and the last day you used.
Stay clean today. |
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smilewasmask |
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Posts: 2057 (04/22/08 10:01:51) Forum Friend |
drink lots of water and do the protein thing...it really helps.
You and your wife are SO lucky to have each other... So good for you that she is standing by you. You CAN you CAN you CAN!!! One of the kind of weird things that helped me was to read Victor Hugo. Those people in France really had it hard and just reading Les Misrables(sp?) made me feel like my agony was not so intolerable. ....i should say ...discomfort instead of agony. So wonderful to have you aboard, robert! |
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danimal55 |
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Posts: 7045 (04/22/08 10:14:17) Forum Star |
You are doing it Robert!
Only one thing is harder than kicking meth...and that is to keep using it....meth is a soul eater. Time heals...pro-active recovery speeds up the process. Find some sensible shoes that fit and hit the ground runnin'! |
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Loraura |
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Posts: 6633 (04/22/08 11:44:04) Moderator |
Hang in there. Try to learn from past mistakes when possible.
What can you different the next time the desire to use starts to put you on auto-pilot? What additional preventative measures can you take from here forward? You're taking action. Danimal is right, you ARE doing it. Action and more action. That's the ticket! |
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caligirlsyd |
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Posts: 4 (04/22/08 12:01:51) |
Yey Robert!
I am SO proud of you! Haven't seen you in the chat for a few days and worried, glad you are still working on it. The first week is killer, it makes you sick but take it from me and all here keep with it and it will get better! Happy Dance, Happy Dance, Happy Dance for Robert! 
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oaklandathletic |
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Posts: 36 (04/22/08 14:00:23) |
You CAN do it Robert!!! It is hard, but man it is SOOOO worth it.......One Day at a Time.....
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