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I am here for guidance - what to do?

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jshsmom		#11	[-]
Posts: 7 (04/10/08 04:14:18) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Secretariat55 wrote: >That was my first inclination, Sierra -- not my business, not my problem. >Yet it's the human factor I have issue with... do I need to care? I think the question should really be..will it make any difference if i care? Hi..im cheryl..and im a fixer just like you. And the answer in this case is no..you cant make a difference. Not like when you rescue a stray dog, or offer a shoulder to a sad friend, or offer a friends teenager a neutral adult to listen. You cant help a meth addict..period. His family? Well either they already know..or they will are in denial and will not believe you anyways. His x? Same thing. However..those kids that are living with him in that environment..i could not walk away from them knowing what i do. My advice is..run like hell.. stop and call cps (you can ask to remain annonymous..they may need your name and phone number but they wont release it)..and then dont look back. You cant help him, or her, or the family. You really cant. And its not your job to save the world..honest Its taken me 47 years to believe that..but its true >If he was from a family who is like him I would find it easier to walk away... but I know they're not .... they're good people who happen to have a son/brother who is off the deep end. This is such a myth about meth addiction. Maybe its true of other addictions but its sure not true of meth addictions. Most of the meth addicts that i know come from good homes with loving parents. Meth sucks in everyone. When a friend i havent seen in awhile learns of Joshs meth addiction their reaction is always not Josh!. Even Joshs doctor who has been his doctor since he was 3 was in denial about his meth use..he made more excuses than i did! One of Joshs friends was a straight A student. Sweet girl. Great kid. Used to come out and ride with me. She tried meth to lose weight for her junior prom. Ended up addicted..never graduated and last i talked to her had been in and out of rehab three times. No one is safe from meth. No one. >If you are his family: Is it a favor or a curse to learn the truth? Would you want to know so you can help him? If you are his family you probably already know the truth and have probably already faced the reality that you cant help him. If hes that deep and they havent figured it out yet..its cause they are in denial and nothing you say is going to change that. Some ppl just cant seem to accept when the reality of their nice neat life changes so they close their eyes and pretend everythings the same as it always was. You cant help them either..they will accept the reality when they are ready and nothing said before that will matter. >If you are me: Do I need to care or do anything for anyone? Death, whatever... it's no my problem, right? I know this is hard for you cause i can tell that your a fixer too..thats not a bad thing..the world needs ppl that care. But caring for a meth addict will just suck you into a nightmare world. You cant fix it..trust me on that. Walk away before it becomes your problem. If hes showing you how to shoot up and all that hes trying to suck you into his world. Whether its to sell to you or to add one more buddy to his list of ppl he can con when he needs something. Walk away..better yet..run like like the devils chasing you..cause it is. >But it is... if evil goes unchallenged what kind of world are we in? Have you told the cops about the death threats to his wife? If so..then now its their problem. Its their job to challenge evil. You are so much like me 7 years ago. You cant win. Not against meth. Only the addict himself can fight their meth monster. You cant even help. In fact by helping you may actually be helping the meth monster win...thats called enabling. >It's easy to walk away. No..walking away when its someone you care about is the hardest thing in the world to do. NOTHING is harder. But its the right thing to do in many cases. It doesnt mean you dont care. It means that you care enough to do whats best for them, and you, and dont kid yourself. This is not all about the xwife or the addict.. you care about him a lot..its clear in your posts. And thats okay..you can love the person he was and hate the person he is..but you cant fix him..you cant help him. And if you dont believe that you risk becoming him. >But on that day when I die, how do I answer for being a wuss and not standing up for humankind and stopping bad things if I can? You arent God. Its not your job to fix humankind. Its your job to live YOUR life the best you can..that doesnt mean that you can or should be superwoman. The reality is when it comes to meth addiction you dont have the ability to stop bad things from happening. Its not being a wuss to walk away. Let go and let God. Pray for him and turn his life over to God to fix..hes very good at it. Jshsmom
Hurting for YOU		#12	[-]
Posts: 256 (04/10/08 05:05:57) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Secretariat, Girl, I feel for you. I really do. What a terrible situation to be in. I can understand you being confused and not knowing what to do. At first my heart told me that I would want to warn the ex wife that she was a potenial target, but then as I considered the risk, I came to the conclusion...........that if she is still around............she has not let go. She is making choices and she has to know what kind of person she is messing with. YOU have a choice to make..........when considering these choices.......please remember that you too are someone very special to other people...........you are someone elses daughter, maybe sister, maybe mother. YOU mean a lot to other people and only YOU can be responsible for YOU! Just as the ex can only be responsible for HER. Like Tenderhearts said, if you are a praying kind of person............my best advice is to turn it over to prayer. I just happen to be a praying kind of person and I will keep you in my prayers. I admire the person you are for wanting to SAVE another person from harms way, but there are things in this world much much bigger than you that can handle this situation............YOU just have to let it. Thinking of you and keeping you close in my thoughts, Katie
Loraura		#13	[-]
Posts: 6495 (04/10/08 06:25:09) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	"He deals, he's dangerous, and he's unstable. " Then get the hell out. Sticking around in any capacity is volunteering for this to get deeper, worse, and more tragic. Getting involved is asking to be next on the hit list. I'm dead serious.
phoenix		#14	[-]
Posts: 1141 (04/10/08 07:02:29) Forum Friend Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Since you know that he is threating to murder his ex you do kind of have to do something don't you? Unless you can live with the guilt of having her blood on your hands....
MkUsmile	Anonymous....	#15	[-]
Posts: 230 (04/10/08 07:26:32) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	How will you feel if he goes through with it and kills her? She's either pregnant or now has a kid with the other guy, right? I would send her an anonymous letter advising her that her life is in danger and do like everyone else says and stay as far away from this individual as possible. I can think of 3 ex-wives shot in the last year or so by their husbands in my area, one of them was a co-worker of mine and everytime there is an acquaintance that comes forward and says, "well I heard him talking about it but I didn't think he'd actually do it, wish I would have warned her". So I'll reinterate, let her know anonymously and then fleeeeeeeee! M.
Hurting for YOU		#16	[-]
Posts: 258 (04/10/08 07:33:15) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Good idea MkUsmile!
smilewasmask		#17	[-]
Posts: 1993 (04/10/08 08:16:20) Forum Friend Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I agree with Phoenix and MkUsmile. I also want to ask you if you are still using that needle? And if you are, DO YOU SEE THAT IT IS TERRIBLY WRONG TO SUPPORT THAT EVIL? I don't really care about the drugs and every other illegal thing he does.... what I am concerned about is my obligation as a human being to help others -- or at least to inform others of evil that is directed their way. My Dear, It IS because of the drugs that he thinks that it is acceptable to get even.
XOutlaw Woman		#18	[-]
Posts: 1821 (04/10/08 08:24:40) Forum Friend Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Secretariat55 wrote: Before now everything was a story and didn't matter... then I saw it for myself. He showed me how to shoot up, he's into fighting and beating the %%#% out of people who cross him, he's violent and getting more so, and he can make as much money as he wants.. he's also burdened by an exwife who humiliated him and left him and from whom he's divorced. _________________________________________________________________________________________________ So you are shooting up too? First of all get off the dope. Your mind is going to be just as messed up as his before long. Secondly if he chooses to be "burdened" by anyone, that is HIS CHOICE. He is divorced from her and that is what it is. Thirdly, and lastly, if he beats people who cross him, and you are thinking of crossing him by telling his dirty little secrets , well guess what? Are you prepared to be beaten and possibly killed? Meth addicts (especially ones on the needle) are very unpredictable. You will be seen as the enemy if you do anything to come between him and his dope. My advice to you is to get off the **+@ and get as far away from people like this as possible. What have you got to lose? Are you staying because of your own addiction? I just don't get why you would put your life in danger for someone you have only known a year, who has such issues.
rememberme		#19	[-]
Posts: 18 (04/10/08 11:41:50) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	WOW WOW WOW!!! Your post brought me to my feet real quick. My child was murdered by a meth addict who spent some time talking about it prior to the act. A witness, like you was iffy on "should I tell somebody?", well she didn't, my child is DEAD, she is wracked with guilt, developed a serious mood disorder and is dealing with the legal fallout. Warn that woman!!! Tell the man's parents what is going on!!! Goggle 'methanphetamine psychosis', that man is dangerous right now. He may be a nice guy when he is clean but he is not right now. TELL EVERYBODY, get yourself away from this guy.
nineyearsclean		#20	[-]
Posts: 7401 (04/10/08 11:51:48) Best Friend to KCI Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I believe you have a moral obligation to tell someone that he is planning to kill her.

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