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Well I think I know what you are feeling/felt. At 9 weeks now, I have felt really, really good in ways I haven't in years. I thought it was the freeing of not having that "little dirty secret" to hide...as the guilt I carried was becoming enormously heavy. To be free of it, ah, "ohh what a feeling!" I am more comfortable with me, and not so quick to react. It is just so many different things all at once and so very hard to summarize in a few sentences. Any bouts of depression or 'da blues" came on my first day without. The day after Super Bowl Sunday. Yep, I watched the Super Bowl and puffed up about a gram. A lot for me. I tweaked on the computer, re-arraigned a mess in my room, and went to sleep relatively early. I woke up the next morning damning the fact I woke up! I started going to web sites that had to do with death and suicide. Got really, really down. Then, I looked at a stack of books I'd collected over the last year but never put my nose into. I blindly grabbed at one, telling myself I'd at least give a few pages a try. It was a book entitled "Believing God" by Beth Moore. A book on Faith. The Miracle was "on", the pink cloud effect..which for me, was a spiritual blessings of sorts that has carried me since. I have an active relationship with Jesus Christ, focus on Him being that focus of the day rather than the little sack I could drum up, and peace has taken hold of my life. I have, without any fore thought, started reaching out to several people in my life that I had walked away from. This, I believe, is the work of a loving God and His work in my life. It is an answer to many loved ones prayers for me. Prayer works, and they are elated. I've been told that I sound so good that some are afraid to comment on it as they do not want me to take note and then do myself in by shooting myself in the foot. A trait of mine....if things start to go well, I step in and "fudge them up"! Not anymore. My pink cloud is still "on", and it consists of a loving God. I can't picture it going away, as I am the one who normally does such...God never leaves us, we leave him. So it is the Pink cloud for life, along with the little bumps in the road along the way. Chris