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"but feel the odds are against me."

I don't know about what the odds are, but I do know this: If you want it bad enough, you'll do whatever it takes to have it. That can go both ways, you know. We could be talking about you wanting to use again bad enough, or, you wanting to never use again bad enough.

Either way, you will get what you want if you want it bad enough.

When I finally, finally stopped using and began to re-enter the world of the living, of the "sane", I wasn't sure I'd make it without my little bag of meth; my little bag of powdered courage; my lord and master for 13 years.

Before I actually stopped using meth, I really believed that the only way to quit was to die. And I welcomed death by then, because I was a wretch of a woman; a hideous, drug addict, whose only focus in life had become chasing the bag. I was a disgusting human being. I didn't want to keep living that way. But I didn't think I could live without meth either.

Well, whatever the odds were, here I am, meth-free for almost 12 years. I could lie and say it's been all pretty easy and like that, but I won't. It's been real hard at times; the flip side is, it's been real grand at other times.

The first thing you've got to do is get real, real honest with YOU. As addicts, telling lies to ourselves and everyone else becomes second nature. It's time to stop the lies, especially the ones you try to sell to yourself.

Getting honest about who you are and where you've been and what you want for your future will help tremendously in your efforts to recover from this addiction, and you know what??

WE DO RECOVER!

Screw the odds! Thousands upon thousands of us get into recovery and work our asses off and come out on the other side clean and better than we ever were on meth.

So can you, my dear. So can you.