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Ever since I stopped using meth (And getting high on anything else,) I have had SERIOUS problems with chronic pain.
I have had this problem since I stopped, at that time I believed that this would pass in time, and so far, that hasn't been the case at all.
For the first two years of my recovery, I just tolerated it and assumed that it was normal, I used for a very long time, and I knew that the recovery (Mental, Emotional, and Physical) from long term meth use was going to take time. At about 18 months clean, I went back to college. The community college here is on a very large, hilly campus, and parking is on the periphery of all of the buildings - there is no parking near any of the buildings. You have to walk quite a distance to get to your classes - I thought that would be a good thing, I could get some much needed exercise, so no big deal.
Unfortunately it WAS a big deal. What I found out was that my lower legs, calfs, feet, ankles, achilles tendons, would hurt so much in such a short time that I couldn't get too far without having to stop completely (If I didn't, I felt like my legs were going to come out from under me.) I kinda thought "OK, you're just out of shape, suck it up, just keep walking and it will get better."
It didn't, and my husband noticed that my muscles were hard as rocks all the time. I finally went to a doctor, got an MRI, found some other problems in my spine that were related to old injuries, had surgery, bla bla bla.
None of that had anything to do with the other chronic pain stuff that had been going on for the past two years, I had another MRI, no more spinal problems, so I did physical therapy for a year. It did help, going to the gym helps, and exercise in general helps more than anything.
But it has been more than four years now, and still, every single day, I am in pain, and I hate it. My muscles are essentially constantly in a state of spasm all the time. Most of the time, I just deal with it, and a lot of the time, I do what I want to do and pay the price for that later (See "Penelope goes wild" in the San Francisco Pics..."
)
I work half time now. My doctor & my physical therapist don't want me to work with patients anymore, but I am not willing to go on disability for this - I think if I do that, I will just get worse - I will get worse physically, mentally, and emotionally. The doctor agreed to let me go back to full duty if I would agree to see him every 6 weeks, and so I do.
He wants to do MORE MRI's, I said no. I can't afford that, even with insurance - still paying for the LAST surgery!
So, every morning when I get up, I feel like I've been beat up with a bat. If I have been chasing bicycles... that little stunt took me out for a week (But it was worth it anyway.) If I work more than three days in a row, I am limping, I get migraines, I'm tied up in a knot.
I REALLY, REALLY HATE IT.
I understand that as we get older these things happen - but you know, I am 45 - not 75. I know a lot of this is related to the work I do.
But to the other recovering addicts out there - especially those of you who used for many years...
Do any of the rest of you have problems with chronic pain?
I wonder if the real problem is just that I overdid things while under the influence for so many years (I was anesthetized and feeling no pain for so long,) and now my body is letting me know how much I really damaged it back then.
Sometimes, though, I wonder if using meth itself has caused any damage to my body - not enough dopamine in your body DOES cause muscles to stiffen, and I wonder if I haven't cause some kind of permanent damage in that sense because of the amount and length of time I used meth.
Anyone else having this problem? Just curious - it's something I am just going to have to live with, and the best solution has been physical therapy and exercise so far. Medication helps too - I wish it wasn't that way, but I have to be able to function, and unfortunately, I seem to have done myself in pretty badly.
Still got my sense of humor, though
I have had this problem since I stopped, at that time I believed that this would pass in time, and so far, that hasn't been the case at all.
For the first two years of my recovery, I just tolerated it and assumed that it was normal, I used for a very long time, and I knew that the recovery (Mental, Emotional, and Physical) from long term meth use was going to take time. At about 18 months clean, I went back to college. The community college here is on a very large, hilly campus, and parking is on the periphery of all of the buildings - there is no parking near any of the buildings. You have to walk quite a distance to get to your classes - I thought that would be a good thing, I could get some much needed exercise, so no big deal.
Unfortunately it WAS a big deal. What I found out was that my lower legs, calfs, feet, ankles, achilles tendons, would hurt so much in such a short time that I couldn't get too far without having to stop completely (If I didn't, I felt like my legs were going to come out from under me.) I kinda thought "OK, you're just out of shape, suck it up, just keep walking and it will get better."
It didn't, and my husband noticed that my muscles were hard as rocks all the time. I finally went to a doctor, got an MRI, found some other problems in my spine that were related to old injuries, had surgery, bla bla bla.
None of that had anything to do with the other chronic pain stuff that had been going on for the past two years, I had another MRI, no more spinal problems, so I did physical therapy for a year. It did help, going to the gym helps, and exercise in general helps more than anything.
But it has been more than four years now, and still, every single day, I am in pain, and I hate it. My muscles are essentially constantly in a state of spasm all the time. Most of the time, I just deal with it, and a lot of the time, I do what I want to do and pay the price for that later (See "Penelope goes wild" in the San Francisco Pics..."
)
I work half time now. My doctor & my physical therapist don't want me to work with patients anymore, but I am not willing to go on disability for this - I think if I do that, I will just get worse - I will get worse physically, mentally, and emotionally. The doctor agreed to let me go back to full duty if I would agree to see him every 6 weeks, and so I do.
He wants to do MORE MRI's, I said no. I can't afford that, even with insurance - still paying for the LAST surgery!
So, every morning when I get up, I feel like I've been beat up with a bat. If I have been chasing bicycles... that little stunt took me out for a week (But it was worth it anyway.) If I work more than three days in a row, I am limping, I get migraines, I'm tied up in a knot.
I REALLY, REALLY HATE IT.
I understand that as we get older these things happen - but you know, I am 45 - not 75. I know a lot of this is related to the work I do.
But to the other recovering addicts out there - especially those of you who used for many years...
Do any of the rest of you have problems with chronic pain?
I wonder if the real problem is just that I overdid things while under the influence for so many years (I was anesthetized and feeling no pain for so long,) and now my body is letting me know how much I really damaged it back then.
Sometimes, though, I wonder if using meth itself has caused any damage to my body - not enough dopamine in your body DOES cause muscles to stiffen, and I wonder if I haven't cause some kind of permanent damage in that sense because of the amount and length of time I used meth.
Anyone else having this problem? Just curious - it's something I am just going to have to live with, and the best solution has been physical therapy and exercise so far. Medication helps too - I wish it wasn't that way, but I have to be able to function, and unfortunately, I seem to have done myself in pretty badly.
Still got my sense of humor, though
