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Hello. My father is a meth addict. i am 18 and he has been using for a long time, i definitely know he was using cocaine before i was born or somewhere in that time frame, and i dont think he has ever went clean for more than a month or so, atleast to my knowledge. He is a very loving man, always generous, always giving and helping people with money. He is successful and has owned many coffee shops, businesses and is still doing good. This is where i sometimes get confused and get a change of heart when i think about him and his health. The big house, the mercedes and never struggling with money always makes our life seem good and we are "living". When i think about my dad being an addict, i tell myself he must stop and i need to confront him in a peaceful manner about it (i usually bring the topic up when we get into fights and argue). We mainly get into fights about small things he turns into a clusterfuck. If i dont do something small like take the garbage cans all the way in the backyard and leave them in the front, he will tell me im lazy and all the bs, the fights usually get serious towards the end and we become very mean towards each other. After, i go and ask myself...what the *%$@ did i do, he brings up my past mistakes and makes me feel like @@!! about them. These fights usually happen once or twice a month. Sometimes more or less. I think this is when he comes down from the feeling good high from the crystal meth @@!!. I always think about him and his health, i dont want him to die soon...i love him very much and want him to be around for a longer time. He is a very smart man, always watches the history channel, always working, and greatly believes in the power of the human brain, he convinces himself that the brain controls every single thing in life and the human body, which it does but there are limitations and taking care of your health makes a difference. I know his drug use is ruining his body and reducing his life span and this really makes me sad. I know if i confront him in a nice way, i will cry and he will tell me he will stop for me and blablabla. He hangs around with other meth addicts, they come to the house sometimes..he will be working on the house or buffings the venetian walls at 12am...i tell myself we are remodeling so its ok, but then i say he is #+$#*#! tweaking and this is what tweakers do, they enjoy moving around and #+$#*#! fixing @@!!. Its really screwing with my mind. My dad is mostly like 85% of the time in a happy, loving mood so i let the addiction topic slip my mind. He has spent atleast one million bucks on drugs and cigarettes in his life. i wouldnt doubt if it was 1.5.
I smoked pot for a year or so and i cant say im perfect, i have my small fuckups...im still in college and work fulltime, im transfering to a university in a year and life will change when and if i move out. I really want him to stop, but i get a feeling the energy in the house will change if he stops and the energy now is good but he is using meth.
I mean are there many 20+ year drug users that fully stop and recover? I would love to hear anyone stories or comments on this. I still smoke pot like 8-10 times a month which barely affects my academic performance and motivation. When i smoke i feel more secure, i mainly smoke when im at home to calm myself. i used to smoke 2+ times a day for a good year but i quit down like 75% and i will be clean soon, once i really get into my career and studies, now its mainly work and about 9 hours of school a week (night classes).