for 18 months now. My wife is a meth addict.
At first I tried to fix it. of course failed miserably. I was able to maintain the family and keep the ship afloat for the first 13 months.
Then we lost everything. Both jobs. House. Cars. Kids want nothing to do with her.
I had to move in with family. She was not welcome because she had burned her bridges with them. She had to go. I stayed to give our 4 year old daughter some type of home.
She started couch surfing at whatever meth buddies house she could. (Always a guy of course ) A month ago I found out she's fallen in love with one of her use buddies.
I tried to wash my hands of her but haven't been able to completely cut the cord. You know, since she's my wife and I love her and all.
She says she wants to quit but doesn't want to go back to rrehab. She wants to get clean outside of rehab. Not sure if its possible for her.
She keeps telling how much she loves me , that she misses being my wife and we are still intimate at times.
I realize now that she still loves the using buddy. Don't feel like I have the strength anymore to compete for her love. I wrote her a letter telling her that. I also said what's more important for her right now is her recovery and then trying to get her kids back.
I haven't given it to her yet. I dont want to give up on her or us but I am so emotionally drained at this point I dont know how to find the strength to tolerate the infidelity, constant lies, etc.
I was wondering if anybody has been similarly situated and if so what could help me deal with being in love with her even though at this point she is mainly someone I used to know.
Thank you and God bless you all.