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I need that kick in the rear to get me going . Things that I have allowed to pile up have now knocked me down, and I am desperatedly in need a good swift kick
. Let's see, I stupidly bought the lie she told about not doing drugs and just needing a place to sleep until she could get a vehicle and a job. Well in
1 week's time I have been through HEL*. Monday I had a bump removed removed near my eye that the doctor said he did not like the looks of, so I have 4
stitches. Hubby got fired,( long story, but her fault)She is lazy and don't do anything all day long but sit and watch reality crap on TV and eat
everything junk food. Not that I had alot of junk food around but I did have snack type stuff. She even found the candy from last halloween that should have
been discarded and ate it. She is not even trying to find a job. Well grandsons SS check is due and yesterday after she checked the mail, she called a
friend to come get her and left and I know in my heart of hearts she got that check and ran.I don't know why hubby can't see through her like I do, Why
do we give her chance after chance and end up on the short end? It is crazy and has to stop. I can not take much more..
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My Friends Once again
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 upagainstthewall |
My Friends Once again |
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Posts: 714 (05/03/08 10:44:34) |
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TenderheartsKS |
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Posts: 1388 (05/03/08 11:27:52) Moderator |
upagainstthewall wrote: Basically, because if nothing changes, nothing changes. To expect an active addict to act like anything other than an active addict is insanity. It's been five years now since I kicked the oldest out after 30 days, changed the locks and got a restraining order on her. I've stood my ground on that too.Sometimes it's okay to ask why, but I have to be careful I don't spend nearly as much time on that as I do on 'what do I do now'. I knew after two weeks I should have kicked the oldest out, but I was already exhausted, and took what I thought was the easier softer way and let her continue to stay. Well, that one cost me in spades, and in hindsight, the easier way would have been to kick her out then and there, instead of settling for two more weeks worth of insanity. As for what your daughter told you about using, I now have a priniciple I apply to my oldest. If her lips are moving, she's lying. She's currently under investigation by SRS for providing alcohol/prescription meds to minors. Personally I'm hoping she'll get some hard time out of that, but I have to let go and leave the results to God. Quit sabotaging yourself by continuing to allow her back in your house. I'm sure she's quite a resourceful gal, as is my oldest, and will find someone else to enable her if you say NO and stick to it  Heck sakes, and if she can't, maybe she will
finally hit a bottom!
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upagainstthewall |
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Posts: 716 (05/03/08 11:49:51) |
I am not trying to make excuses but I think it is because of the boys. I don't want to look the meanie who put momma on the street.
Something has got to change and I know it has to start with me. I would rather confront her when the boys are not in the same room. I have got to get my sanity back before I am lead off to the rubber room. |
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TenderheartsKS |
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Posts: 1389 (05/03/08 12:00:24) Moderator |
Those boys absorb everything around them. Do you want them to grow up thinking this is acceptable behavior from 'mom'?
We have to be very careful of the messages we give the children through our actions. Children live what they see. I think a grandmother who is strong in her beliefs of right and wrong, especially in front of those kids, is the kind of grandmother that they need. They will come to understand that their grandmother loves them with all her heart, and that there are consequences to negative behavior. We do more harm than good if we try to shelter them from the reality of life sometimes. (((hugs))) |
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Guene |
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Posts: 5180 (05/04/08 08:53:45) Forum Star |
Sending you lot's of love and Hugs, Bless you Bobbie
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oaklandathletic |
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Posts: 69 (05/04/08 09:44:48) |
I totally agree with Devon, My mom did what you are doing..I told her about my brothers meth use and that he would steal her blind....She said but this time
its different......But it was not....he took everything that he could find...Her mothers weddingr rings and alot of family heirlooms...he ran off and pwned it
all for a bag of crap......He bled her dry and I tryed to warn her...Me being a former addict knew where my brother was taking this..........She is a believer
now....I tried to tell her but she wanted to enable him.......Didn't want to be the bad mother that throws her son out.......
I know that it was only material things he took...but I really feel he took apart of my mother with him...She is so hurt and saddened like it was her fault... He now lives on the streets of Hawaii in a abondoned jeep.....Calling every so often for a hand out.......But mom has learned.........She sends him Mcdonald girt certs.............She has learned its out of her hands.......She has finally come to grips that her youngest son is a meth addict....... Good luck to you and yours........Remember it is thier insanity.....They own it........You don't have too.......It's hard.........But its the way it has to be......... Wishing you the best.....((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))) Paul |
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