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I woke up this morning feeling good. Not even minding that I am going to work on a Saturday. Im was suppose to be their a half hour early. But when I set my alarm last night. I guess I some how forgot to turn it on. Go figure. So I should be pulling into work right now.
But I wanted to say something before I go.
I FEEL GOOD THIS MORNING!
Its not the way I feel every single morning. But they are becoming more and more frequent. And thats something not long ago I thought may never happen.
For those of you who dont know. A quick recap of my life.
I started using drugs and alcohol at around 19. I started using meth at around 30. True to addict form. I used all I could use as often as I could use. In other words I used something or everything damn near every day of my life.
I quit drinking around 42 or so. Meth was all I had time for by then. I quit meth when I was 45. I am now 48.
I went through 2 years of the most miserable time of my life. 2 years of abstaining and trying to figure out what recovery ment or was. Im still not sure of its definition.
But this last year has been different. It started out the worst of times. But it is becoming a time of peace. A time of content. A time to rejoice in.
My time to feel good I. It is finely here. And I am so glad I stuck it out. I am experiencing what the ones who came before me said I would.
The birds are singing. The rain is dripping off the pine needles. And I believe God is above looking and waiting for someone to open their heart and let him in. And I will prey it is you.
All through my recovery or what ever its called. I thought what was happening to me was probably different. You know the way it happened. Why it happened. All that stuff I guess.
But today I think probably. Just the names of our demons are different. And how long it takes each one of use to see who we really are. To see through what our addiction has temporally done to us.
I have no doubt that everyone of us is heal able. Is fixable. Is love able. And is worth what ever it takes to get us to see that.
I truely love you all. I love life.
I found my strength in God. I believe he is real. And I believe he loves us all.
Now I gotta go to work. Greg
