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The main reason I never let go of KCI is to show people recovery can happen. I dont have the knowledge that SFJ has or the wonderful and gifted advice of
Pen, or my farths (suzie) crazy interpertation of this disease...she is the ruler of explaining in my world.
I stop in to share that miracles do happen.
I AM LIVING PROOF.
I gave away so much for this drug. I cant explain why. I can explain the road I have walked...and it has been a long and crazy one.
You know just when I get enrolled to be a phelbotimist...god puts my boys back in my life...maybe that is not the path I am to walk.
The thing is there are so many dang doors to open when it comes to choices in life...and for a long time I choose "meth" and now I have to make
choices everyday and it will be revealed if it is the right one, if I choose to listen. I am responsible today...and that feels so darn good...to feel a part
of society, instead of an outcast.
I am just discovering after a year that drugs were just the cover of many "character defects". I dont like what I see...or feel when they surface. I
am working this workbook with a small womens group and let me tell you...uncovering this crap is difficult...to see who you really are and try to make
changes...ha, who likes changes?
MY purpose for kci, is hope...to someone who reads me and said what I said numerous times when I read of people who got months and years on this site..."I
hope I too, can be free from this forever...and for now, forever is a long time in my world...so, as the old saying goes "JUST FOR TODAY"
I LOVE YA ALL....
for those who are struggling, check out local rehabs...check out local meetings...be open to what you hear...it was invaluable information for me then and
now....
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what can I give back to KCI
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 Hemetchik |
what can I give back to KCI |
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Posts: 3070 (04/30/08 09:47:02) Forum Host |
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danimal55 |
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Posts: 7075 (04/30/08 10:08:13) Forum Star |
IMO you've given much Deb.
You are the miracle and the living proof we all long to see and be, there's no greater gift you can give this community. Your courage, strength, brutal honesty...[even in the most challenging of times], your transparency and autheticity are all community treasures here. A better question...what can we give you in return? |
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Hurting for YOU |
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Posts: 420 (04/30/08 10:14:37) |
Your story gives me chills. I am so glad you have your babies back in your life.
Only someone who has not had them in their life and got a second chance would know how rewarding that is. You are a very strong person and I personally thank you for sharing and giving others hope and courage. Hugs, Katie |
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luvepiphany |
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Posts: 7430 (04/30/08 10:23:16) Forum Star |
I'm thankful for you too
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Loraura |
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Posts: 6701 (04/30/08 11:45:54) Moderator |
Hemet, it has been an absolute joy watching you recover. Thank you for sharing your experience.
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Eve au naturel |
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Posts: 333 (04/30/08 12:06:26) |
Often, I've wondered that exact same question: "What can I give back to KCI?" As a Libra I strive for balance, yet sometimes it feels like
I'm getting more than I'm giving this cyber-community. I'm sure that'll change when I'm further along with my recovery. My clean
date--counting all substances--is just April 2oth. (It's been much longer than that since I've used crank.)
I just want to let everybuddy know that I will not forget those who have helped me, including those who have simply (in silence) tolerated my howling in pain & confusion. I will not simply take what I need from this site in order to recover and then leave as soon as I feel stable/ confident in my recovery. I'm not judging those who do, feeling like they've graduated, but I promise I'll stick around to try to help the incoming wounded. |
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donnaeve |
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Posts: 680 (04/30/08 17:12:44) |
kindness and compassion go a long way
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