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Back in the spring of 1986, my violent, psychotic meth-slamming, whiskey swilling husband was ordered to in-patient rehab by his parole officer.
I clearly remember thinking this was going to 'fix' him, never mind the fact I was up to my a$$ in alligators in the swamps of my own addictions.
What a shocker it was to have him discharged and in the same day disappear for several days while he was out on another meth-slamming run.
I later found out he had smoked pot while in rehab as they got 'afternoon' passes to go down to the park to fish after they had been in a couple of weeks, and he was never popped with random UA's as they were supposed to do with parolees.
I was pi$$ed, and clearly remembered it was all that damned rehab's fault, and had they popped UA's on him, they could have fixed him, dammit! They didn't do their job!
I landed in the same rehab a very short time later, and it saved my emaciated, dying carcass.
The group therapy was excellent, there was plenty of one-on-one counseling, and a very strong emphasis was on attending 12 step meetings that we were transported to all over the area. We were also required to complete the first 5 steps before the 30 days was up.
So why did two people who completed the same rehab get such drastically different results? Did rehab fail him? I think not.
What rehab offered was a start on the tools that I so desperately needed to stay clean/sober and start living life on life's terms. I chose to pick up those tools. He did not. He failed rehab.
Are there 'bad' rehabs out there? Certainly! It's a potential big $$$$$ maker, and therefore subject to abuse by dishonest crooks looking to make money, preying on the sick.
There was one in Wichita that made the tv news last year, and the owners were facing federal charges.
There are also plenty of good rehabs out there, and in my opinion, if someone decides to go out and use again after completing rehab, it is because they chose to toss aside anything that rehab offered them on the tools to stay in recovery.
I still think of the lady here that my oldest daughter used to cook for in her restaurant after school. She ended up going through rehab 12 times, 12 times! Her parents enabled her up until her father died, and then her mother remained as her biggest enabler.
The last time I saw her, she was applying for Vo-Rehab services too, and when I walked in for my appointment, she was just finishing up. She must have weighed all of 90 pounds. She had that cough that sounds like a pre-cursor to a death rattle. She had COPD. She was 49 and looked in her 70's. She had not one tooth left in her head. She died a few short months later. Her heart just simply gave out.
Did rehab fail her? In my opinion, no. She failed rehab and chose to get rehab 'savvy', learned to play the game well enough to 'graduate' with flying colors the minute she walked out.
She was dangerously smart, so smart she couldn't grasp recovery, and died.
Rehab can only offer the tools. Ultimately it's up to the addict to pick them up or not.
I clearly remember thinking this was going to 'fix' him, never mind the fact I was up to my a$$ in alligators in the swamps of my own addictions.
What a shocker it was to have him discharged and in the same day disappear for several days while he was out on another meth-slamming run.
I later found out he had smoked pot while in rehab as they got 'afternoon' passes to go down to the park to fish after they had been in a couple of weeks, and he was never popped with random UA's as they were supposed to do with parolees.
I was pi$$ed, and clearly remembered it was all that damned rehab's fault, and had they popped UA's on him, they could have fixed him, dammit! They didn't do their job!
I landed in the same rehab a very short time later, and it saved my emaciated, dying carcass.
The group therapy was excellent, there was plenty of one-on-one counseling, and a very strong emphasis was on attending 12 step meetings that we were transported to all over the area. We were also required to complete the first 5 steps before the 30 days was up.
So why did two people who completed the same rehab get such drastically different results? Did rehab fail him? I think not.
What rehab offered was a start on the tools that I so desperately needed to stay clean/sober and start living life on life's terms. I chose to pick up those tools. He did not. He failed rehab.
Are there 'bad' rehabs out there? Certainly! It's a potential big $$$$$ maker, and therefore subject to abuse by dishonest crooks looking to make money, preying on the sick.
There was one in Wichita that made the tv news last year, and the owners were facing federal charges.
There are also plenty of good rehabs out there, and in my opinion, if someone decides to go out and use again after completing rehab, it is because they chose to toss aside anything that rehab offered them on the tools to stay in recovery.
I still think of the lady here that my oldest daughter used to cook for in her restaurant after school. She ended up going through rehab 12 times, 12 times! Her parents enabled her up until her father died, and then her mother remained as her biggest enabler.
The last time I saw her, she was applying for Vo-Rehab services too, and when I walked in for my appointment, she was just finishing up. She must have weighed all of 90 pounds. She had that cough that sounds like a pre-cursor to a death rattle. She had COPD. She was 49 and looked in her 70's. She had not one tooth left in her head. She died a few short months later. Her heart just simply gave out.
Did rehab fail her? In my opinion, no. She failed rehab and chose to get rehab 'savvy', learned to play the game well enough to 'graduate' with flying colors the minute she walked out.
She was dangerously smart, so smart she couldn't grasp recovery, and died.
Rehab can only offer the tools. Ultimately it's up to the addict to pick them up or not.
