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How about YOU going to a Naranon meeting? The only way out of this mess is through it unfortunately. They are no quick detours to happiness in situations like this. I strongly advise you to seek your own recovery because being a loved one is definately like being a addict in some cases the loved one IS addicted to the addict and the chaos. When I left my ex I had to seriously go through some drama withdrawals and learn to appreciate the peace again. I couldn't have done it alone. No way. I learned so much and gained so much support by seeking some help. I wouldn't be the happy person I am today without doing the hard work, work that continues today. I left my ex a year ago on the 22nd of this month. Guess what, he's still using and he's still homeless. Only his situation is more bleak than a year ago. He is in bad health, a year older, he looks like hell, but the important thing is he still hasn't take responsiablity for himself and his addiction. It's always someone else's fault. I no longer have that feeling anymore for him. I realize I was addicted to him in the end. I hated him being around but was in withdrawal when he was gone, sounds real similair to when I was strung out on drugs. Exactly the same. See me and my ex used to do dope together. We were both pretty hardcore addicts when we got together. I got clean in 06 when I got pregnant with our only child. One child is enough for me! Not to get off topic but I don't see how some women can have 3,4,5 children. Anyways I felt JUST like you do when he's around and then when he's gone I missed him and the phone calls and drama would start. I learned about traumatic bonding and how disfunctional relationships are harder to leave than healthy ones because we have shared trauma that links us unfortunately. I swear to you that attending a free weekly domestic violence support group and counseling helped me so much you can't even begin to understand how much those women with a common past helped me and the counselors too of course. See I thought you had to be a women that her arse beat 24/7 to be a real domestic violence victim. That's so not true. Many of the women were just like me! Leaving disfunctional men with drug habits. Amazing! The verbal abuse, the intimidation, the walking on eggshells to not upset him, the controlling behavior always wanting to know what I was doing, all that stuff is abuse. I see abuse when I read your message with the text's in it. Yes it takes guts to do something you have never done before like seek some help. Strong women seek help, weak ones sit by and complain complain but never ever ever wanna live in the situation. They start seeing themself as the perpetual victim instead of a survivor. It's time to take your power back and get some control in your life. He calls you then report him for breaking the no contact order. It's hard in the beginning, it is. I got a restraining order, moved, all that stuff and it helped me because not having contact helped me see things clearer after I started going to the counseling sessions and support groups. Most have childcare which is great. You have the power to make your life and your child's life better. If you do nothing then nothing will ever change and you'll have wasted many years of your life on a loser. You will have caused you child pain and suffering that will become when they get older. This can be avoided now. Just do it. I never ever thought I would leave my ex and get over him like i have. It's amazing. I realize now how addicted I was to him and the drama and whatnot. Seeking help and practicing no contact and time are what helped me and they can help you too if you want to do the work.

Jamie