If you can't beat em...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (hvnlykarma) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:03:36 GMT

By the way, Danimal... nice links.. thank you:)

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (hvnlykarma) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:02:32 GMT

Oh my God...you need to get OUT of that relationship! You need to start caring for yourself. (sorry about all the "you needs")
A lot of my book is about a toxic relationship I was in for years. Not exactly your situation, but I bought a man a house and supported him for years because I was so crazy in love with him. He didn't love me back. He just loved my money...and the dog, but that's a whole other chapter.
PLEASE take care of yourself. Next time, she may not...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (jwl65) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:09:19 GMT

This is very interesting and i find some understanding in it myself, but i think it only will pertain to a sober person, as i have learned here, a meth addict does'nt have the ability to have a relationship with anyone except meth, and i am learning that on a personal scale, so letting go for me run's a little different path, as well as brother race,i think? we have women in our live's that does not want a (so called) normal relationship, it's in not in them rigtht now, and i...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (Loraura) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:46:07 GMT

racebannon wrote:
I dont understand what has happened in my life. It started with a painful and hurtful divorce, the death of 2 close friends, hooking up with a crazy girl, and now my parents are both breaking down from old age, my sister in hospital with acute rheumatoid arthrits. It just never ends lately.

I wanna give up.

It looks like you just explained exactly what is going on in your life....

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (danimal55) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:25:31 GMT

"cultural norm" is right!

Toxic Love - the dysfunctional, addictive, cultural norm

"True Love is not a painful obsession. It is not taking a hostage or being a hostage. It is not all-consuming, isolating, or constricting. Unfortunately the type of love most of us learned about as children...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (wonderwoman) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 10:23:54 GMT

Abbey!!!!!

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (abbey t of lv) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 10:17:11 GMT

Not to be confused with the rock band Chicago's album "Stone of Sisyphus" which I prefer to listen to on my Ipod...while I am trying to roll the boulder back up the hill. But hey, that's just me.

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (wonderwoman) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 10:09:02 GMT

danimal55 wrote:
Can these toxic love things be fixed?

Certainly!....But only on a personal level, as we all know by now > we can't change anyone but ourself.
(i.e. a monumental challenge for most of us )

Ain't that the truth!

People...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (danimal55) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:37:28 GMT

Can these toxic love things be fixed?

Certainly!....But only on a personal level, as we all know by now > we can't change anyone but ourself.
(i.e. a monumental challenge for most of us )

The Belief System:

What is codependency / codependence...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (jokersgirl) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:17:12 GMT
Ouch danimal...you've described my marriage.

Can these toxic love things be fixed?

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (racebannon) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:16:59 GMT
no problem on the double post - its an amazing read.

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (danimal55) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:06:26 GMT

double posted...sorry

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (danimal55) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:02:21 GMT

You would die for her?

What is she willing to do for you?

It's time to..... LIVE FOR RACEBANNON

Toxic love is a sickness in the hearts of the participants. It is a union of unhealthy and needy individuals. It is a parasite of the human spirit. It uses another person's weakened spirit in order to survive. It is an emotional cancer that destroys the healthy parts of a person until there is nothing left except an empty shell-- unless its...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (smilewasmask) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:49:39 GMT
Don't give up, my Friend.
Maybe take control in the departments that you CAN~
You are chasing an illusion.
I am very sorry.
This woman is like a shadow...
Maybe spend time figuring out how you can be of service to your parents and your sister....
Don't let your life energy be sucked dry.
She is not capable of being in a healthy, loving relationship.
Why do you want to settle for less than that ?
FCK the dope.
FCK that desire.
FCK...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (jwl65) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:42:49 GMT
I hear ya race, what's the sayin? when it rain's it pour's, it seem's that's the way it is sometime's everything start's happening from every different direction, just take it one day at a time, bro. you can do it, you made it this far, i understand your addiction to her part, i fight the same issue's everyday. love is a biatch, and it can kill ya, hang in there!! you'll make it!!

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (wonderwoman) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:41:44 GMT
You have a choice and you don't have to do this anymore.

You have to sit through the pain. You can do it.

You cannot use what she is doing to herself as an excuse to flush yourself down the toilet too...
You have choices and options - you own it. What would you tell your child - what would you want your child to do in the same situation?

(((Race)))

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (racebannon) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:31:03 GMT
I dont understand what has happened in my life. It started with a painful and hurtful divorce, the death of 2 close friends, hooking up with a crazy girl, and now my parents are both breaking down from old age, my sister in hospital with acute rheumatoid arthrits. It just never ends lately.

I wanna give up.

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (jokersgirl) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:25:27 GMT
(((((hugs)))))))

I feel your pain!

Nineteen days here. How many hours is that? Hehe.

And yet, I find myself driving by those houses, etc. Doesn't matter, I'm done in this town. But there are other towns.

I hear you about the one day I'm strong, the next I am climbing the walls.

You are not alone.

Actually you are a hell of alot stronger than I am, there is no...

Re: If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (smilewasmask) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:23:21 GMT
Race!
What I read here, from you, makes a chill run up and down my spine.
I spent a year with my meth using man before I gave in and decided to go to hell WITH him.
And DAMN, it WAS HELL.
AND I was JUST as LONELY using WITH him as I was when only he was using.
Actually, I was even more lonely as I had alienated myself from ALL of my family and friends who were not using.
It was a nightmare and MANY loved ones were hurt.
Some are still wounded..
And he...

If you can't beat em...

feeds@yuku.com (racebannon) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:16:20 GMT
Hi all,

Its been an insane last couple of weeks. I have failed, I can't let her go. No matter what I do, I crave her like the drug she is. I have wanted to use so bad, but I remain drug free, just not free of the girl. My love is blind, can't see the forest for the trees. One day I'm strong, the next day I'm persuing her.

I asked her for a hit, testing her - she refused, cried told me never to ask again. What a tease. I would die for her, yet I never want...